Tier 1: The Super Bowl Contenders
1: Kansas City Chiefs (Last Week: 1)
The Chiefs won by doing absolutely nothing. Kelce went down to Argentina to receive the kiss heard around the world and still did more than any of our main competitors to gain position in the standings. It goes to show how, despite all our question marks, everybody has even worse issues.
2: Cincinnati Bengals (Last Week: 2)
3: Baltimore Ravens (Last Week: 3)
4: San Francisco 49ers (Last Week: 4)
5: Philadelphia Eagles (Last Week: 5)
This season has been the year of me being rewarded for not overreacting. Seemingly every week I’m stubborn about not moving a team that people think should be higher/lower and then that team immediately proves the hype wrong.
In this case people were starting to doubt the 49ers after 3 straight losses, but they went down to Jacksonville and absolutely destroyed the formerly 6-2 Jaguars. That’s why San Francisco is in this tier, and the Jags are 2 tiers lower.
Tier 2: Playoff Teams
6: Detroit Lions (Last Week: 6)
7: Miami Dolphins (Last Week: 8)
8: Dallas Cowboys (Last Week: 9)
9: Buffalo Bills (Last Week: 7)
10: Seattle Seahawks (Last Week: 10)
11: Cleveland Browns (Last Week: 12)
12: Houston Texans (Last Week: 13)
I have officially given up on having shame and moved the Browns up a tier. I don’t know how they do it with Deshaun Watson sucking so hard, but at this point their resume is undeniable.
Tier 3: Meh
13: Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week: 11)
The reverse of the 49ers, the hype around the Jaguars was starting a bit out of control. So of course the football gods decided to put them back in their place.
14: Los Angeles Chargers (Last Week: 16)
15: Las Vegas Raiders (Last Week: 14)
16: Arizona Cardinals (Last Week: 25)
17: Atlanta Falcons (Last Week: 15)
18: New York Jets (Last Week: 17)
19: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last Week: 18)
20: Minnesota Vikings (Last Week: 19)
Joshua Dobbs is quickly making the Vikings regret giving Kirk Cousins so much money. Remember that the last season before he signed they went to the NFC Championship Game with Case Keenum, then proceeded to not make it past the Divisional Round in 5 seasons with Cousins at the helm, and only even get to the postseason twice. And now that Cousins is injured Dobbs had stepped into an offense he doesn’t know and made Vikings fans say “Kirk who?”. Imagine how much better of they’d be with a QB like Dobbs and all those other players they could have afforded without Cousins’ cap hit.
Tier 4: The Less-Than-Good Teams
21: Los Angeles Rams (Last Week: 20)
22: Pittsburgh Steelers (Last Week: 21)
23: Washington Commanders (Last Week: 22)
24: New Orleans Saints (Last Week: 23)
25: Indianapolis Colts (Last Week: 24)
26: Tennessee Titans (Last Week: 26)
27: New England Patriots (Last Week: 27)
I know most people will have the Patriots in the next tier down, but I’m not quite there yet. They’ve looked just competitive enough to stay out of that tier.
Tier 5: The Terrible Teams
28: Green Bay Packers (Last Week: 28)
29: Denver Broncos (Last Week: 30)
30: Carolina Panthers (Last Week: 29)
31: Chicago Bears (Last Week: 31)
Congrats to the Bears who were in the unusual position to improve their odds of the top pick in the next draft by winning. But because the Panthers made the mistake of trading up for Bryce Young it is Chicago who now has a real chance at Caleb Williams. That CJ Stroud is lighting up the NFL is extra salt in the wound. In 5 years we could be having arguments over whether the trade for Young or Trubisky was worse.
Tier 6: The Tommy DeVito Tier
32: New York Giants (Last Week: 32)
It’s not the boldest prediction ever, but the Giants showed why I had to make their own tier. Even Vegas has them as 10 point underdogs to 4-6 Washington! The good news is that Carolina will probably find a way to win another game or two, so the Giants just have to keep rolling with DeVito and Caleb Williams could be theirs.