Tuesday Taeks

 28 replies

We see you trollin’…we Taekin’…

People keep asking me if I’m back and I haven’t had an answer, but yeah, I’m thinking I’m back…

Sweet photoshops aside, I figured it was time for taeks to make a return. I mean, the Chiefs wrapped up the 1 seed two weeks ago and people seem to think this team somehow isn’t great. More on that below. And for you people that are just now reading taeks for the first time…. well I don’t know what to tell you besides read the disclaimer.

Full Disclaimer here: These are meant to be in satire. I repeat these are meant to be taken lightly and in jest. Please do not take offense if you or someone you know gets named in the ‘taeks’, remember all publicity is good publicity. In fact, you’re welcome.

Additionally do not seek out the authors of these ‘taeks’ to ridicule, maim or otherwise harass them. It could be illegal and Seth isn’t licensed to practice law on the interwebz. Worse yet, you might make the following week’s ‘Taeks’. We’ll make you famous.

Hawt Taeks

As I mentioned above the Chiefs apparently suck.

https://twitter.com/DCHNPod/status/1345830036331397126?s=20

But but guys the Chiefs barely got the 2 seed last year and barely 51 points on the texans and barely held Henry to 70 yards and then barely scored 21 straight points in the last 7 minutes of the Super bowl. Oh thats old news, tell you about this year. Okay.

Does no one remember what happened week 6? Chiefs ran for 200 yards and won by 2 scores. But barely two scores…

Universe makes error and the ‘Brownies’ make the playoffs.

This guy’s excitement is palpable lol.
Also, the Universe Corrects said error.

OPE.

And you thought I was done with the John Wick stuff …

We will see…

Raiders gunna Raider

Wait.. you want to run it back to a 7 -9 season, miss the playoffs, at have at least one guy arrested again? Alright…

Your wish is granted.

Flaming HAWT Taek of the Week

Champion and Challenger

BTW I’m leaving the Champ and Around the Web from the last Taeks bc 1) Im lazy and 2) these are pretty solid. Enjoy.

Reigning Champ

Challenger

Around the Web

I think the ladies will enjoy this one

https://twitter.com/sp1d3rw3bzz/status/1344379893392551936?s=20

10 Words come to mind: “Is this chicken what I have or is it Fish?”

5 points to the first person to name who said the above quote. 6 points to gif or video it.

We can’t be this dumb right… like literally as a species. It’s not possible! Right?!

This picture still makes me laugh. OMG LOL

Well that’ll do it for me. I hope you enjoyed the re-installment of Taeks, I know I did. Make sure to comment down below and tell your friends. We back baby.

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NovaChiefs
01/05/2021 10:57 pm

I’m sorry, There is one, ONE Baba Yaga, and he is PATRICK MAHOMES!

Last edited 3 years ago by NovaChiefs
HawaiiFiveOh
01/05/2021 6:48 pm

There was something missing on my Tuesdays. And then the Taeks came out and all was right again.

Tyrone
01/05/2021 5:07 pm

Welcome back Taeks.

I’m clearly dumb, I don’t get the French nails thing. ?

upamtn
Reply to  Tyrone
01/05/2021 5:14 pm

Voila! The Flag of France, Monsieur
comment image

Tyrone
Reply to  upamtn
01/05/2021 5:24 pm

Ok, I am dumb, but I get it now. Let me explain.

I don’t really know what “french nails” are, but I’ve heard of it as some sort of style of women’s fingernails. Obviously I know what the French flag looks like. I thought for some reason the picture on the left was the original picture the girl had asked to be edited, and the picture on the right was the ‘funny’ edited one.

I was trying to figure out what the pattern on the right meant, and why it “French” and funny.

I was looking too far into it and completely missed the obvious.

Still dumb.

upamtn
Reply to  Tyrone
01/05/2021 6:23 pm

hey, I’d never heard of “french nails” til today (the actual “fingernail style”) … the flag was the “obvious” pun (note: I post a visual pun on Fb called The Daily PUN-ishment so in my mind the pun itself was the best part of the Taeks)

Doughboy66
01/05/2021 4:58 pm

I am so glad to see this back and you lowbird. This has been one of the articles that was always something to look forward to and enjoyable to read. Thanks for doing it

gonzangkc11
01/05/2021 4:39 pm

EB update:

gonzangkc11
01/05/2021 4:32 pm

CLARK HUNT, MAKE SURE YOU — TRIPLE YOUR CLEANING STAFF

WTF BROWNS??

upamtn
Reply to  gonzangkc11
01/05/2021 5:11 pm

Ho Li Kow

gonzangkc11
01/05/2021 4:31 pm

Jason Mr. Clap Clap with no headset on Garrett — lol lol lol

Goddard Bolt
Reply to  gonzangkc11
01/06/2021 9:37 am
Goddard Bolt
Reply to  Goddard Bolt
01/06/2021 9:38 am

comment image

gonzangkc11
01/05/2021 4:28 pm

LOL – please take the Chargers HC job………so AFC West can have Jon Gruden ($10m a year) & this cupcake asking ($12m a year). Dumb & Dumber lol. Even if he’s not asking for $12m a year…..he’ll want Jon Gurden type BLING BLING

Last edited 3 years ago by gonzangkc11
gonzangkc11
01/05/2021 4:24 pm

Sights and Sounds from Week 17 | Chiefs vs. Chargers
https://www.chiefs.com/video/sights-and-sounds-from-week-17-chiefs-vs-chargers

probablyamistake
01/05/2021 3:46 pm

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Big Chief
01/05/2021 3:26 pm

The quote was from Jessica Simpson from her reality show, right? She wasn’t sure if her can of tuna was chicken or fish because it was “Chicken of the Sea” advertising (Starkist?).

Severely Concussed
Reply to  Big Chief
01/05/2021 3:53 pm

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upamtn
Reply to  01lowbird
01/05/2021 5:19 pm

in my mind I though t he said Marge or Lisa Simpson (from her reality show) … and then of course I’m all like “wtf?”

DenverDonkeyHater
01/05/2021 3:21 pm

I feel like their should be a whole section dedicated to the 6-10 Giants bitching and moaning about how they got screwed out of making the playoffs

upamtn
Reply to  DenverDonkeyHater
01/05/2021 3:25 pm

those poor, pitiful children … my heart is broken, verily

Severely Concussed
01/05/2021 2:52 pm

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upamtn
01/05/2021 2:14 pm

We can’t be this dumb right… like literally as a species. It’s not possible! Right?!

sadly, that’s only scratching the surface of just how stupid we, as a species, truly are … they don’t give out Darwin Awards for nothing, yanno

the French Nails thing was funny

Last edited 3 years ago by upamtn
MasterChief
01/05/2021 1:56 pm

Nice to have the Taeks back!

SCKSChief
01/05/2021 1:55 pm

Nick Jacobs is on to something by pushing the Chargers to hire a Pioli/Jason Garrett combo. This would be highly entertaining.

Team Player
Reply to  01lowbird
01/05/2021 2:23 pm

That’s the first two letters of ‘class’. The other three are just fine with it.

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