Ever just feel like we are all living in the Twilight Zone? What a strange strange time it is. I just want things to go back to normal, I know I’m not alone in saying that. One thing that’s kept me going is knowing that people will forever have taeks. I know it seems silly, it is silly but I somehow find comfort in knowing people often spout off crazy things. Sometimes people DO crazy things… either way they end up here for us to joke around about. So let’s get to it.
Full Disclaimer here: These are meant to be in satire. I repeat these are meant to be taken lightly and in jest. Please do not take offense if you or someone you know gets named in the ‘taeks’, remember all publicity is good publicity. In fact, you’re welcome.
Additionally do not seek out the authors of these ‘taeks’ to ridicule, maim or otherwise harass them. It could be illegal and Seth isn’t licensed to practice law on the interwebz. Worse yet, you might make the following week’s ‘Taeks’. We’ll make you famous.
We gotta start out with a little Mossin’ right?
Naturally, we at AG reached out for a comment from Tyreek Hill, he directed us to his New Profile Pic…
But for real, anyone see the sneaks and the half speed at the start? Good on the young kid but cmon.
This Just In… Mitchel Schwartz is NOT a top 10 Tackle in the NFL. He may have been the best player in the Super Bowl but NOT A TOP 10 TACKLE.
Fowler was then Hammered on Twitter for the above tweet so what did he do? He kinda doubled down..
I don’t know why Mitch Schwartz is being body shamed by NFL execs and analysts. It’s not his fault that he was born with T-Rex arms, Corgi legs, and turtle like athletic Traits. Gotta call it like you see it, Right?
What can I say? I’m a man of the people…
It shall be done.
Some people still big mad some get it.
TKelce Gets it but this other guy…
DHop gets it.
Oh I see what you did DirtyHop…
This guy? Just, Big Mad.
Literally EVERY TIME someone says Lamar is an elite QB this is what I think of.
I will literally die if that’s a play call next year.
Flaming HAWT Taek of the Week
Champion and Challenger
Around the Web
Long Time AG’r and often Taek’r Tony almost go mauled to a pleasant death yesterday, but eventually was victorious with a score of 3-2. The Mauler’s familia is now angered and is seeking revenge.
Boo this man!
Who the Hell is running this account? Seriously… I want to know.
I thought I liked Burger King?…. but I’m now unsure. I just… don’t know how I feel about that tweet.
Anyways, the rest of this week went splendidly. Now maybe if we can get Jones to sign a 6 year 106 million contract by tomorrow, we will be set with a great DT and a plethora of taeks next week. Speaking of Plethora… I just want to thank the person that created that word, it means a lot.
I’ll just see myself out.