Tuesday Taeks

 18 replies

We see you trollin’…we Taekin’…

In case you missed it, last Tuesday didn’t have any Taeks. I know, I know, its a shame.
But why not is that you might ask. Well, in full and epic fashion, I was busy celebrating our Freedoms for Memorial Day and just plain forgot. Whoopsies 🙂 And as an act of gratitude for your forgiveness, I want to give you the gift of a multi-talented rodent doing his thing.

Fear not follow AGer’s we are back at it today. So let’s get to it.

Full Disclaimer here: These are meant to be in satire. I repeat these are meant to be taken lightly and in jest. Please do not take offense if you or someone you know gets named in the ‘taeks’, remember all publicity is good publicity. In fact, you’re welcome.

Additionally do not seek out the authors of these ‘taeks’ to ridicule, maim or otherwise harass them. It could be illegal and Seth isn’t licensed to practice law on the interwebz. Worse yet, you might make the following week’s ‘Taeks’. We’ll make you famous.

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Hawt Taeks

Shots fired lol

Tom Brady and PeyPey Manning played golf against each other in what was an epic showdown that lasted approximately 45 years. But the real winner, was Trent Green.


About that best team thing….

I need to look into how this man isn’t in custody.

Oh and Patrick Chung, as well.

TIKI BARBER AT 8?! FRANK GORE AT 5?????????!!!!!!!!

Image being down in games and haven’t to try to come back with this guy -NOT MY QB

Flaming HAWT Taek of the Week

Champion and Challenger

Reigning Champ


Around the Web

Hey DJ Jazzy Juris…

Balls matter people. They really really do.

That’s gunna do it for me today. I know it’s a shorter episode than usual but it’s been an trying week… I hope this segment at least brings you a smile, you all deserve one. Peace out MaHomies.
Oh and Severely concussed, I wrote this Taeks 06/02/2015 @ 1013 hours, bc I’m just that damn good brother.

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06/02/2020 4:56 pm

Ratty Mercury, brilliant!

06/02/2020 4:38 pm

hee hee, balls!

06/02/2020 4:32 pm

Josh Allen is a better QB than Patrick Mahomes in the 4th quarter because Mahomes doesn’t have to play from behind in the 4th quarter often. Also 2 of Mahomes’ INTs came in the Super Bowl…so…

06/02/2020 3:05 pm

Challenger response:

It may be time to check into a mental hospital Aaron.

— KC (@KCrAcKHeD) May 28, 2020


Last edited 1 month ago by HawaiiFiveOh
06/02/2020 3:04 pm

I’m actually pretty okay with this RB list except Jim Brown should be top ten and Tiki Barber should not. Frank Gore and Adrian Peterson are top 5 all time in rushing yards and deserve to be in the conversation. Considering Passing Yards are up and Rushing Yards are down, these are real feats today.

Reply to  HawaiiFiveOh
06/02/2020 3:20 pm

I see where you’re coming from, but as I reviewed the list my first thought was that I saw heavy recency bias in it. A whole lot more new guys than old guys, and newer topping older in many cases, not because they were actually better.
I loved the Vikes’ passing game, back in the day, but I loved the rushing game almost as much. Chuck Foreman was one of my earliest football heroes, so I remember the old days pretty well, considering. And from my POV I kinda have to disagree with your modern vs old comparison at the end. I’ll explain below.

Reply to  BleedingRedAndGold
06/02/2020 3:25 pm

Simply put, passing was so uncommon back then that the defenses could count on a running play coming at them and mostly be right about it. The only question was where the RB would carry the ball, and that meant doing so was a lot more difficult, because the D was halfway ready for it.
Contrariwise, now that there’s so much focus on passing they can’t be as well prepared and the DBs have to stay with receivers until they know it’s a run, so they’re farther out of position. This also clear more space to run in because the backfield’s so spread out.

Reply to  BleedingRedAndGold
06/02/2020 3:30 pm

At the very least I think the list should place more emphasis on carries per game and that a 100yd game for an RB back then was and an accomplishment, not the normal expectation. Same goes for a 1k yard season, though to a lesser extent. OJ’s 2k yard season was absolutely jaw-dropping at the time, an ’18 Mahomes type season. It was almost unreal, and he did it as the #1 RB and a workhorse RB at that. Every D keyed on stopping him, and he still put up 2k.
I don’t see how modern RBs are disadvantaged here, that’s all.

Reply to  HawaiiFiveOh
06/02/2020 3:53 pm

No LT is criminal

Reply to  QuackTastic
06/02/2020 5:01 pm

Oh shit I didn’t notice that one! I looked for Chiefs RBs and saw we didn’t have any. I get it. Ours were great but had short careers compared to this list. We just so happen to have a string of like 20 years of great RB play.

Reply to  QuackTastic
06/02/2020 6:06 pm

Mike Alstott in the top 10 is also criminal

Reply to  QuackTastic
06/03/2020 12:45 pm

There was a guy named Marcus Allen who may or may not have been better than a shit ton of the names on that list. The Franco Harris omission is silly…I’m with the poster above at saying recency bias is strong with this list.

06/02/2020 2:46 pm

Garland Green!
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Last edited 1 month ago by upamtn
Reply to  upamtn
06/02/2020 2:53 pm

Soylent Green!

06/02/2020 2:28 pm

After the initial presentation I had to drop down here before I dug in, and share “music” of my own:
Oh when the taeks, come matching back, oh when the taeks come marching back
How I want to be on this website, when the taeks come marching back.

06/02/2020 1:41 pm

That top RB list is all kinds of not even close

06/02/2020 1:40 pm

You’re checking to see if I’m in custody? Awww, shucks. As far as I know he got flagged again on his way to blocking me. 🤣🤣

Reply to  Fire_FG_the_moron
06/02/2020 2:32 pm

Sickest burn I’ve seen in weeks, maybe months.

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