Tuesday Taeks

 15 replies

We see you trollin’…we Taekin’…

Hi, my name is Adam. This is Tuesday Taeks. It’s currently 01:30 pm on March 19th and in case you were thinking about making plans in the upcoming months…. You might want to reconsider.

This Public Safety Announcement has been brought by invisible children. They are always watching what you do… Now, on with the show.

Full Disclaimer here: These are meant to be in satire. I repeat these are meant to be taken lightly and in jest. Please do not take offense if you or someone you know gets named in the ‘taeks’, remember all publicity is good publicity. In fact, you’re welcome.

Additionally do not seek out the authors of these ‘taeks’ to ridicule, maim or otherwise harass them. It could be illegal and Seth isn’t licensed to practice law on the interwebz. Worse yet, you might make the following week’s ‘Taeks’. We’ll make you famous.

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Hawt Taeks

This is my version of warming up in Taeks…

Warmer…

There we go…

Thanks for tee’ing one up for me there Charger fan.

Speaking of the Chargers… Every. Stinkin. Year.

And just because eff the Chargers.

OPE.

Confirmed.

The Raiders are still trash, coulda at least went with Toyota here.

This is the only time Im going to do this for Johnny…

Well done, sir.

So unless you’ve been living under a rock for 30 days, you proabably know that our cornerback Bashaud Breeland got arrested a couple weeks back for possession of marijuana and resisting arrest. What could’ve easily slipped by you was that two other corners were arrested this last week. This next little segment is dedicated to them.

Apparently the way you carry yourself as a person, is with a gun…. and that gun pointed at other people cuz…

Safe to say, Washington won this trade? And wats with these damn corners during the offseason.

This damn COVID got people tripping man

Flaming HAWT Taek of the Week

Champion and Challenger

Reigning Champ

Challenger

I’m feeling nostalgic, screw Aikman’s pathetic coat riding career.

Around the Web

There’s a part of me that’s big about that cereal box video. Like just let me be an ignorant sob and live my life with stale cereal, don’t complicate my lie further with your Trix.
Anyways, that’s all I got for this week. Onto making my own music video outta quarantine boredom. See y’all.

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Berserker
Berserker
05/19/2020 4:44 pm

The guy with the covid shirt looks like a hoot.

I like the Raiders stadium = spare tire. Can we call it The Big Spare?

fishbowl72
Reply to  Berserker
05/19/2020 6:07 pm

You fools, the Raiders stadium is a ROOMBA.

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater
Reply to  fishbowl72
05/19/2020 6:59 pm

She’s gone from suck to blow!

stjoechief
05/19/2020 3:53 pm

Gotta go with the champ here. Aikman is just pathetic.

BleedingRedAndGold
Reply to  stjoechief
05/19/2020 4:05 pm

Well, since we can now talk to him about Mahomes – which he said we could do, mind – can we tell him that Mahomes won his first ring a year earlier than Aikman’s 1st of 3?

gonzangkc11
gonzangkc11
05/19/2020 3:40 pm

Breeland partaking in Chiefs sessions

I know it’s not a justin bieber song for the young generation lol lol

Also, a great song while @ gym
21 = this song by Tupac Shakur: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wsHKUOcql0

NovaChiefs
NovaChiefs
05/19/2020 3:28 pm

I always appreciate self-awareness. Well done, Johnny. Oh, stealing that 9ers gif/tweet. The best one yet

ArrowFan
ArrowFan
05/19/2020 2:49 pm

I’m still laughing over the Jonny flop fail.

ArrowFan
ArrowFan
05/19/2020 2:47 pm

That music video is evidence of the failure of society in so many ways. I just don’t even know how to start with it. It is amazing to me what some consider manly or tough behavior.

HawaiiFiveOh
HawaiiFiveOh
05/19/2020 2:30 pm

What IS it about the Chargers that makes them such a trendy pick? They haven’t won the division since 2009 and have made the playoffs twice since then. They don’t belong in the conversation for anyone.

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater
Reply to  HawaiiFiveOh
05/19/2020 3:33 pm

0-6 in the division last year. 0-6. 0-6.

They still dont have any fans.

They went from a borderline hof qb to Tyrod Taylor/justin herbert.

They lost half of their rb duo.

Every year some team, usually the browns, who were last in their division the year before finish last in their division again. This year thats the chargers.

Berserker
Berserker
Reply to  HawaiiFiveOh
05/19/2020 4:47 pm

Because the Raiders currently suck, and the Chargers are the only other coastal team in the division. And those two facts are about 98% of what coastal reporters know or care about the AFC West.

Severely Concussed
Severely Concussed
05/19/2020 1:36 pm

Hi, my name is Adam. This is Tuesday Taeks. It’s currently 01:30 pm on March 19th and in case you were thinking about making plans in the upcoming months…. You might want to reconsider

How far in advance do you do these?

Severely Concussed
Severely Concussed
Reply to  01lowbird
05/20/2020 12:57 pm

Dude. Its May.

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