So last week’s Ode to Ale was a thrown together mashup of last-minute crapitude, and for that,
Dave Anthony apologizes. This week, however, I did some on-the-ground analysis, in-depth research, and real creativity (feel free to disagree with that third point).
And as always, I welcome any and all ideas and input. If you have a particular favorite brew or concoction please feel free to hit me up on the ol’ Twitter @AnyGivenSunDave or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Terrible Taste Test (with special guest J.J. Storey)
This past Saturday we went on an excursion to the beautiful land of Peculiar, Missouri. Known for it’s … um, multiple Casey’s General Stores, the wife and I spent the evening with our good friends. Unbeknownst to poor J.J., he was also needed for an experiment with a lesser known (to me, anyway) whiskey that I found at a hole-in-the-wall liquor store.
Enter: this disgusting-ness:
Now, J.J. and I are (or in his case, used to be) avid whiskey enthusiasts — perhaps not well-versed in the “top shelf” realm, but definitely purveyors of the perpetually putrid poor man’s potions. When it came to this little single swig of suckage, I’m fairly certain both of us would have rather had a little more taste and a lot less “kick in the throat.”
After swearing to him that this wasn’t a prank and that I didn’t just feed him straight Diesel fuel, I asked J.J. what his thoughts were. His answer? “Two words: dog shit.” He went on to add that it “tasted fine at first and like rubbing alcohol at the end.”
I think he was being generous.
That crappy concoction was like drinking a Molotov cocktail after it had been lit on fire. It was as if Satan himself shat liquid magma down your throat after a Taco Bell binge. If given a choice between shooting that stuff again or water from Flint, Michigan, I would say the lead contamination might be better for your health.
All that to say, no bueno senor. Never again.
New Ways To Avoid The “Beer Gut”
If you’re like me — and I pray that none of you fall that far on the social spectrum — you are actively trying to fit back into that two-piece for the summer. Sure, having a couple drinks by the poolside, lake, or beach is a fun way to spend a weekend afternoon, but nobody wants to see the hairy skin-keg you’re pouring it into.
So I found this little tidbit on the interwebz:
This may not interest everybody, but I’m sure some of you may want to look into some lower calorie options without sacrificing taste and quality. The article above offers some pretty cool-sounding suggestions, but I will highlight the one that piqued my curiosity the most.
Boulevard Easy Sport Recreational Ale
I can’t lie, the main thing that caught my eye was the term “recreational ale,” and yes, it means what you think it means.
This blend is brewed with potassium, magnesium, and sea salt to “supplement athletes after their exertions.” And let’s be honest, nothing sounds cooler than running a couple miles or hitting the bench and finishing up with a beer that doesn’t make you feel guilty for doing so.
It’s a 99-calorie beer, and is blended with Tangerine peel and Mandarina Bavaria to supposedly give it a taste akin to sports drinks. It weighs in at 4.1% ABV and even has some electrolytes infused.
That’s pretty awesome! Find out more here.
An Alcohol “Alternative”
Last week, the comment section was inundated with requests for some … alternative recreational fun. Until and unless it becomes legal nationwide, Arrowhead Guys is going to choose to stay away from most topics concerning that particular lifestyle. However …
If they make it into a beer, I think I can avoid the censors!
Keith Villa — who is awesome enough to have a Ph.D in Brewing, by the way — is the co-founder of Ceria Brewing Co., and they have found a way to give those who don’t ascribe to the alcohol culture a way to enjoy their particular tastes with those of us that prefer the hops lifestye.
They are planning to roll out a product called “Grainwave Belgian-Style White Ale,” which is a cannabis-infused beverage that allows it’s drinker to catch their buzz from the THC content instead of alcohol. It boasts that this ‘beer’ is lower in calories and doesn’t end in a hangover.
That’s pretty … uh, dope, as the cool kids would say.
Right now the brew is only available at 50 Colorado dispensaries, and according to the article above, a 10-ounce bottle is retailing at $9. Check it out here.
What are you drinking this weekend? And as I said before, don’t hesitate to contact me with anything you feel people should know about!