Thirsty Thursday: The Most Buzzed Of Balls

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Dave tries good things so you … um, can too?

Man, if that title didn’t tickle your spaghetti I don’t know what will.

Thank you for tuning into another Thursday morning where you hear about the alcohol I had the night before. What makes us different from a gaggle of goofy frat boys? We do this in style. With balls a-buzzing.

I know it’s cold this morning (weathermen, if you fail me on those reports while I try to speak as if I’m in these people’s present, so help me Busby), but yesterday evening was a balmy 80-something degrees. So to ring in the nice day of weather I decided to go a bit lighter this week:

Beer Of The Week

Kona Brewing Co., “Big Wave Golden Ale,” 4.4% ABV

This one didn’t take long to stumble across, as I have had people in my life tell me about it — and most of the reviews were positive. During my search, however, I did have my eyes on a darker, heavier concoction that — if the Midwest stays true to it’s roller coaster climate patterns and drops to 30 degrees next Wednesday — I would love to indulge.

But what says ‘summer weather’ quite like a Big Wave:

/pops top

/takes a pull like skeet shooting

Hm, not bad. Not overly exciting either, but I could get into this one. It’s very light, which you could probably assume simply by the 4.4% ABV. There is a slight taste of what I will probably incorrectly describe as ‘malty,’ but as the slogan inscribed on the bottle states (Liquid Aloha), it is pretty smooth.

This would go well on a fair weather to even hot weather day, and I can imagine having a sixer of this poolside and enjoying it more than my typical yard beers. While the overall flavor may not be something people like if they enjoy exotic blends and complicated structure, this is an absolute step up from your average Bud Light.

Verdict: Nothing to write home about, but also one I think I will seek out more often this summer. The price isn’t as drastic a jump as going from Busch Light to Boulevard, but you will drop about $8.00 on a six pack of bottles. Good barbecue beer as well, especially if you’re monitoring a smoker for 6 hours and want to be conscious when the food is done cooking.

Liquor Of The Week

BuzzBallz, Forbidden Apple, 15% ABV

Okay, so this one was a toss-up. I had my sights set on another alcohol, but ever since my awesome, amazing liquor-store-lady found out that this is why I kept asking for different shots every Wednesday, she has been doing her best to point me in some new directions.

So this one is for you liquor-store-lady.

/pops top

/takes a swig

Let me preface what I am about to say with this: I was told this particular ball of blessings was supposed to get you pretty damn drunk, pretty damn quick. Unrelated note — it mentions that the company is “Women Owned” on the side. And from Texas. That said …

This tastes like Kool-Aid. Seriously, this was straight up green apple flavored Kool-Aid. It’s only 15% ABV, but when you factor in that not even my 7 year old would flinch sipping on this (not that I would let him, go away NSA) yes, if you drank 5 or six of these things I can see that being the case.

Verdict: This is a ready-to-drink mixer, in my opinion. It has its own alcohol content, so you can pop one open and indulge at will should you choose. I personally think you could add some more vodka, or some tequila even, and create a heavier drink with actual punch. It’s one I would recommend to both all genders, and on almost all occasions. Frankly, in the time it took me to write this (while talking to my kids and assorted people in my house) I can already feel the effects of one drink.

Big results, small package.


What are you drinking tonight?

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04/09/2020 4:59 pm

At 200ml I don’t think Dave can say that his balls are particularly big, and he certainly doesn’t have the biggest balls of them all. 😉

More seriously, while waiting in line at the liquor store I was glancing around an noticed something branded “Twisted Shotz” or similar. Preloaded 2-chamber shot glasses, with the added bonus that you could re-use them to play around with combos of your own. Just a suggestion.

04/09/2020 3:34 pm

Those Buzzballs are dangerous.

Reply to  Dave
04/09/2020 4:55 pm

I bet. For some ungodly reason I liked the taste of Zima (don’t judge me, I didn’t ask for it.) and it went down as smooth and easy as Sprite. But faster. Had to give it up, face the fact that there was no way I’d be able to avoid pounding down 3-4 per hour until it or I was completely gone. I liked getting drunk, but I wanted to be able to enjoy it for at least a few hours.

Champagne is worse, though. Once I get going I tend to end up cuddling the bottle.

Reply to  BleedingRedAndGold
04/09/2020 5:30 pm

Red wine does that to me. Before I realize it, the bottle is gone and I’ve got a tannin headache 2 hours later.

Dave B.
Dave B.(@dave9600)
04/09/2020 10:34 am

I wonder if they sell those at my favorite store…

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04/09/2020 9:59 am

Was it better than deflated ballz?

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Severely Concussed
Severely Concussed(@severely-concussed)
04/09/2020 7:57 am

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Reply to  Severely Concussed
04/09/2020 9:06 am


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