Chiefs’ poem – “Perfect Record” – a tribute for former Chief Joe Valerio

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“Perfect Record”

(A tribute poem for former Chief Joe Valerio)

“Perfect Record”

This is a poem for a former Chiefs’ great.
A tribute to give to a player we knew.
He gave it his all as he played first-rate
And laid out his body as the quarterbacks threw.

In Pennsylvania, he was born and raised,
A boy grew to a gigantic frame.
The football field consumed his days
With practices ‘a plenty and with games.

Joe Valerio is the Pennsylvania man.
He went to study at the U of Penn,
The home of the “Quakers”, and according to plan,
He played football and excelled again.

Winning awards given by his alma mater,
Valerio proved his mettle on the field.
Smashing with defenders, whether colder or hotter,
Valerio made opposing D’s yield.

The ‘91 NFL draft saw Valerio picked
At number 50, a 2nd-round selection
To Kansas City.  But who could predict
How Joe Valerio would give QBs protection?

This was back in the days of Martyball
When Schottenheimer gave the Chief’s Kingdom hope.
It started up front with a solid line wall,
And running backs would scamper past like antelope.

Valerio started as a backup long snapper,
But then blocked hard for a more famous Joe.
For when Montana proved he still was a scrapper,
His O-line included the man Valerio.

Valerio has a Chiefs’ record hard to beat.
He not only blocked and snapped for KC,
But caught touchdowns, and when he pulled off that feat,
Each time he did it was a Chiefs’ victory.

On Oct. 10 in 1993,
Valerio scored his first touchdown.
Six points against the Raiders, you see,
It also meant Valerio was going to town.

His second touchdown came against San Francisco.
The 11th of September in 1994.
When Joe Montana tossed it, it was smooth like Crisco,
And Valerio as a backup TE got the score.

The third time he scored was at old Mile High,
When Montana and Elway lit up the stage.
Valerio was part of Joe’s magic that night
When the Chiefs finally won there and turned the page.

The fourth time Valerio was thrown to and made six,
Steve Bono tossed it in October, ‘95.
The Chiefs beat the Cards who clearly had no tricks,
And Joe Valerio kept his record alive.

A perfect record.  Chiefs four and oh
Every time this offensive lineman scored.
Another touchdown to Valerio
Means that Kansas City wins on the final board.

In ‘96, Joe retired and moved on.
He sold insurance and rose in the ranks.
Has triplet daughters.  Now football days are gone,
But for this former Chief, we remember and give thanks.

Every time he scored, the Chiefs won the day.
What other player can repeat this track?
This tribute comes Joe Valerio’s way
For giving fans memories like these to look back.


If you want me to make a song parody of a specific song, just request below in the comments section.  And as always, Go Chiefs!

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11/13/2023 8:58 am

Joe Valerio, also famous for being the only player within Steve Bono’s ZIP code on a sunny 1995 day in Arizona, when Bono scored the world’s longest(-lasting) 76-yard touchdown.

It’s worth another few looks:

Fantastic as always!

Last edited 6 months ago by Nasrani
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