Tuesday Taeks

 58 replies

We see you trollin’…we Taekin’…

Guys…Guys… Guys! It’s the Playoffs, let’s start this off with a bang.

Hate to see it, you just hate to. But ya know what you don’t hate to see? 41 Straight!!! Sorry, I’m still jazzed up for witnessing the single greatest Chief’s experience of my life.
Anyways, this is your Divisional Round Playoff Tuesday Taeks. Enjoy Everyone.

Full Disclaimer here: These are meant to be in satire. I repeat these are meant to be taken lightly and in jest. Please do not take offense if you or someone you know gets named in the ‘taeks’, remember all publicity is good publicity. In fact, you’re welcome.

Additionally do not seek out the authors of these ‘taeks’ to ridicule, maim or otherwise harass them. It could be illegal and Seth isn’t licensed to practice law on the interwebz. Worse yet, you might make the following week’s ‘Taeks’. We’ll make you famous.

Jump to comments

Hawt Taeks

Can he say that? Feels a little, a tinge, a touch, inappropriate right?

This is the only political-ish post in here, ripped it off like a band-aid.

When will Patriot Fans learn?

This one aged like a fine wine 😉

Chiefs time to Shine

Wut?

A lot of you know the story of this gentleman but do you know the Whole Story?

OPE, Anthony out there just checking that receipt book.

Imagine thinking this lol.

One point for every fan that showed up, that’s cute.

I’m not giving this up…

LOL

you like that?

Not a Taek but I enjoyed it

And now Begins our Baltimore Section

Apparently this DAVE doesn’t watch football outside of Balt Games cuz dang…. that RB can’t throw.

Double doink here…

OPE

Two Great players going at it. Love it.

Phil Rivers refuses to play with Henry due to his potty mouth.

This could have been the Challenger but I’m not giving Skip that much credit.

Flaming HAWT Taek of the Week

Champion and Challenger

Reigning Champ

Challenger

Around the Web

Dogs man… just love them

What in the world, Tony?

What a time to be alive. We still have quality Taeks, the Chiefs are still balling, and people are riding luggage X-Ray-ing machines like Aladdin rode that magic carpet. Speaking of… It’s my time to catch a ride and bounce.

Au revoir

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ChiefDog

Does it count if I post on a Wednesday? Morning Huddle && TUESDAY TAEKS!!! FTW

Tomahawk
Tomahawk

“Travis Kelce: Hold my giant penis”

Hilarious.

gonzangkc11
gonzangkc11

Watch “10 Observations from Chiefs’ Record-Breaking Comeback Win Over Texans | In the Trenches 1/13” on YouTube

KCChef
KCChef

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probablyamistake
probablyamistake

What a cool job!!!! Say stupid shit and get paid for it. I missed my calling!!!

Panzer85
Panzer85

Not a bad calling as long as you don’t mind everyone thinking you’re a dumbass.

workingmansdead

“According to Celebrity Net Worth, Bayless’s net worth is $13 million. His salary is reported at $5 million.”

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

I’m pretty sure most people think I’m a dumbass anyways I might as well I’m pretty sure most people think I’m a dumbass I would love to get paid like that for it

workingmansdead

Agreed 100%.

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

Rough, but ok

gonzangkc11
gonzangkc11

Who’s going to CHAMPIONSHIP Sunday Chiefs game?
History will be made.

HawaiiFiveOh
HawaiiFiveOh

No white running backs

(Ignore Christian McCaffrey and Anthony Sherman)

No asian linebackers

Well that one is a little harder. Most of them are safeties.

dragon6172
dragon6172

Teddy Bruschi, Scott Fujita, Day Nguyen are some former ones

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater

Fujita was white. Adopted by asian parents. Keaprinick would be considered white considering his parents if that was the case.

dragon6172
dragon6172

Sorry, was copying off an article on the subject of asians in the league. 🤷‍♂️

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater

Looked it up again to make sure that my memory was serving me correctly. His adopted dad was Japenese and adopted mom was white.

dragon6172
dragon6172

I didn’t mean to make it sound like i thought your reply was wrong. I only was saying I copied the info from somewhere else. The internet is always right ya know!

Must say I didnt know that about him though, so thanks for the knowledge

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater

No worries. I just saw his name on your list and recalled his story from some newspaper article I read back from the age of dinosaurs. Stuck with me because he was a chief first and was kind of an interesting read as I recall. Unusual for white kids to get adopted by nonwhite parents (just a fact not saying that it should be, really just a numbers thing more than anything else). Anyways getting off topic. After I posted I figured I should double check my comment since like I said it was a long time ago. Apparently newspapers were more accurate than the internet today.

Spider
Spider

Hashtag KaeperniksWhitePrivilege

Slayer0810
Slayer0810

Ignore Christian McCaffrey

This aged well too. 😀

ArrowFan
ArrowFan

Skip is proof that stupid people can get high paying jobs. Also, Alicia looks like she was hitting the Bert’s before filling that piano scene.

Tony Sommer

I don’t understand the logic of defending Jackson by saying they passed too much. If he’s such a great passer wouldn’t you want him to throw it as much as possible?

irafreak
irafreak

I really don’t feel like the first taek is wrong though. Anyone really believe bienemy isn’t a head coach because his skin? It’s a business. If you’re not going to discriminate against players, why would you do it over coaches? $$$$

The guy is simply asking how we’re supposed to make everything fair. If all the coaches are half one race and half another then the players and refs need to be in that rule too. Then male and female.

Then when we start putting all the females in the punter kicker and special teams roles because they struggle as lineman we’ll get a new argument. The best people for the job, skin color and gender be damned.

Z00keeper
Z00keeper

70% of NFL players are Black. 6% of HC’s are Black. I’m not saying there’s some magic percentage but that’s a pretty big discrepancy. It’s not outrageous to ask if there’s bias against Black coaches in the NFL.

And the NFL absolutely discriminated against Black players in the past. Warren Moon said he was frequently discouraged from trying to be a QB, for example.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/theundefeated.com/features/warren-moon-nfl-black-quarterback/amp/

Leaf
Leaf

The problem I have using that statistic is just because you play doesn’t mean you can coach, and just because you can’t play doesn’t mean you can’t coach. So showing the racial breakup of players isn’t really a clear comparison as the potential coaching pool is different.

With that said, I do think there is a problem with minorities getting hired, but I don’t think it’s a nefarious “blacks don’t make good coaches” thing. The NFL is a very cliquish group. They don’t often dip outside their trusted circle. The problem is that circle is predominantly white, as it was established during a different era. So while the people currently in the circle might not have an issue with a black coach, because they don’t look past their comfort zone of what’s already there and what they already know.

To me that’s the greatest advantage of the Rooney rule, as it increases the number of blacks that get exposure to that elitist circle. Over time things will become more balanced, but it takes time. Unfortunately many are impatient and want us to be a perfect harmonious society overnight.

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater

Problem this year and a lot of years is that it never really increased the number of minorities introduced to elitist circles because they all just interviewed the same guy.

I think the coaching intern thing is an interesting program. Like where we had Michael Vick during training camp. Need more ways to break into these coaching circles besides just being born into them.

Z00keeper
Z00keeper

Good article on 538 discussing this issue. The NFL was making progress after the Rooney Rule was implemented but seems to be backsliding.

The Rooney Rule Isn’t Working Anymore

Leaf
Leaf

Yeah I can accept that it’s a broken system at this point and needs some overhaul.

Z00keeper
Z00keeper

I largely agree with this. I doubt front offices are saying “Don’t hire a Black coach!” But there may be unconscious bias and an old boys network, as you say.

Tyrone

I looked at the coaching staff pages for the 8 teams that played this past weekend. The Ravens had the highest proportion of “white male” coaches at around 75%. Every other team appeared to have between roughly 30%-45% “minority” coaches. Yet the only current “minority” head coaches are Anthony Lynn, Brian Flores, Mike Tomlin, and Ron Rivera. 12.5%

It seems roughly a third of all NFL coaches are minorities, yet only 12% are head coaches.

I don’t think it’s as much an issue of coaching circle, as it is the people doing the hiring of the head coaches – owners.

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater

Currently head coaches. A lot of former black head coaches on staffs right now. Whether or not those former HCs got a fair shot to stick is debatable. And no Im not talking Romeo, he should of never gotten a second chance.

Mahomesisgreat
Mahomesisgreat

The owners are not racist.

Icemanx44
Icemanx44

I think this is more of a product of the past than a product of the present. What percent of QB’s were of color in the past? It seems most ex-players that make it to the HC spot NOW are former backup QB’s. Vrabel hurts the argument but there were a lot of people questioning that hiring in part because he was a defensively-minded coach and not a QB guru. Everyone is looking for the next Mcvay, to make their QB choice look better than expected.

Mahomesisgreat
Mahomesisgreat

Could not agree more. What the fuck does the color of your skin matter?!

Leaf
Leaf

It only matters if you have greenish scaly skin. Those mother fucking lizard people have infiltrated our governments and now they are trying to take our god damn sports.

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BleedingRedAndGold

Uh-oh, Sammy Watkins might find out that you’re onto him.

QuackTastic
QuackTastic

Cute story, but in all seriousness, that dude is an idiot for leaving the game early in fear of jinxing it.

BleedingRedAndGold

I suppose this is the most fitting place to ask if anyone else has read about AB84’s latest meltdown? Holy cow.

I agree with the article I read on it, Brown needs psych help. This has gotten to the point where his behavior can’t be written off as the antics of an egotistical brat. If it takes one to know one, the guy’s got something wrong going on upstairs. It’s not funny anymore.

Mahomesisgreat
Mahomesisgreat

Yeah, that was weird.

vvet818

So….. it appears Watson has been behind in more games than Mahomes…..i’ll stick with Mahomes you dumbass.
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DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater

I dont get this Mahomes isnt clutch take? So far I can recall one time he failed under pressure. The Rams game last year. Even in that game he came back a hundred times before he finally looked human.

Leaf
Leaf

It stems from the team falling short in his biggest games last year (NE, LA, NE). Granted us chiefs fans know that most of that was on the defense, not Mahomes. but the majority of NFL fans, and talking heads don’t watch all the games, they watch some highlights and read some stats and form a narrative.

KCChef
KCChef

Not to be “That Guy ” ,But, the Refs had some Undue Influence in a few of those “L’s” as Well …

Leaf
Leaf

True, but like I mentioned, most non chiefs fans aren’t watching the games so they have no context.

Tyrone

And Watson has never even been to the AFCCG because he fell short in his biggest games. His biggest games happen to not be as big as Mahomes’ biggest games because he couldn’t even get as far.

KCChef
KCChef

You mean the Game where a Hundred Points were scored & We Lost by 3 ? …

DenverDonkeyHater
DenverDonkeyHater

Yep by that one. Threw a bad interception to end the game. Not actually a god. Maybe just a demigod.

VChiefsFan
VChiefsFan

Take that back! NOW! 😛

BleedingRedAndGold

I don’t get the Jackson hate. He’s the best passer in the league…as far as RBs go. 😉

Armychiefj
Armychiefj

idk Henry might have been a better one just in that playoff game!

Tyrone

LJ career playoff passer rating: 68.3
DH career playoff passer rating: 118.7

Tyrone

Like I said:
Not bad for a running back. Not good for a quarterback.

dragon6172
dragon6172

What happened 2-23-2018 to be mad at the Hunts?

Leaf
Leaf

We still had Bob Sutton as a DC

dragon6172
dragon6172

I looked it up. That’s the day the news broke we were trading Marcus Peters to the Rams. Guess he was a fan of 22

Tyrone

The irony is that Tony was as pissed as anyone about that trade. He was super pissed at Clark.