Headlines, Hot Topics, and Hyperbole

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Dave takes a look at some of the biggest headlines from around the league!

The season is off to a glorious start for Kansas City Chiefs fans, as the team is coming off a dominant performance against the Jacksonville Jaguars. This week they prepare to head to Oakland’s best effort at a stadium to take on the Raiders — so let’s take a look at some other topics and headlines from around the League:

Heart Knee-Breaking News In Los Angeles

What would an NFL season be without more early season injuries for the Los Angeles Chargers? The season began with news of Derwin James suffering a foot injury that saw him placed on Injured Reserve. Cornerback Trevor Williams was also placed on IR after what the team has officially listed as a ‘quadricep’ injury, and recently the news broke that tight end Hunter Henry is once again sidelined — likely for the season — with a left knee fracture.

Obviously the Chargers have offended the football deities in some way. I’m unsure of how to validate this statement, but I’m fairly sure the Bolts must have incriminating evidence on the Clintons …

If nothing else, it seems that every time Philip Rivers has a child, a starting Charger player is sacrificed for the season.

Cleveland Can’t Do Anything Right

A lot of people — myself, included — had Cleveland pegged for a big year and possibly making a push into the playoffs. After the absolute good-old-fashioned-passionate-ass-whoopin’ they received at the hands of the Tennessee Titans, perhaps we spoke a bit early …

The biggest takeaway post-game, however, was the video that surfaced of a fan throwing beer on Titans’ Logan Ryan after a Baker Mayfield pick six:

Whatever your thoughts are on opposing players jumping into the stands or the fans meeting them with alcoholic beverages, the Browns brass saw fit to ensure that this particular fan was no longer allowed to attend games at their stadium. The only problem? It appears they banned the wrong fan.

Eric Smith, the alleged beer-waster, claims that not only was he DJ’ing a wedding at the time of the incident, but that he had not attended a game at FirstEnergy Stadium since 2010.

Regardless of who the guilty party really is, they are truly an idiot for one reason alone — beer is like $10 in these stadiums, so his wallet took a hit just to pour normally-cheap booze on a ‘meh’ player.

Bill Belichick Weighs In On Antonio Brown Situation

Notorious motor-mouth and relentless speaker Bill Belichick weighed in on the AB scandal that came to light over the past few days. In a recent interview, when asked about the circumstances the Patriots find themselves in and the direction the team may take going forward, the long-winded New England Patriot head coach had the following to say:

Obviously, with so much to digest from that bevy of information, it would be unfair for me to form an opinion until I have had time to completely unpack that statement. Much like Patriot fan behavior towards Tyreek Hill this past summer …

The Miami Fire Sale Is Over

It ended as quickly as it began, with names like Tannehill, Tunsil, Alonso, Amendola, Stills, and Gore (amongst others) being shown the door like a one night stand. There’s just … not a lot left.

No, Chiefs fans, Xavien Howard is not being traded. For some weird, stupid, ridiculous reason, the Miami brass feels it’s okay to trade Kiko Alonso and Laremy Tunsil, but Howard is apparently where they draw the line.

And just like the eyebrows of a club-girl, those lines have been drawn poorly.

Quick Hitters

Sam Darnold has been ruled out for at least four weeks with a case of Mono. What else do you expect from a guy who looks like he still can’t enter Chuck E. Cheese without parental supervision?

Warren Sapp tells O’Dell Beckham “you can’t wear a $350K watch and play like a $2.00 bill,” which is likely what he paid for his hooker in Phoenix.

Rob Gronkowski claims he has suffered “like 20 concussions” during his football career. Apparently, unlike Aaron Hernandez, he won’t be taking all of his hits to the grave …

Nobody is more excited to play football than Steelers backup center B.J. Finney:

What other topics from around the league are on your mind?

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Quick, someone tell Darnold to give Tom Brady a kiss!


…a Charger playoff birth is sacrificed for the season.

Kim Jong Pete
Kim Jong Pete

Oooh, an Aaron Hernandez joke—so edgy! Nothing tickles the old funny bone like murder.


Is that right, Mr. Kim Jong?



Kim Jong Pete
Kim Jong Pete

My username is actually mocking all the idiots comparing Pete Sweeney to Kim Jong Un. But it’s a fair criticism.


Bone marrow cancer?

RDD India
RDD India

Trade for Fitzpatrick!

Simpsons mob torch


I’m not going to make a judgement on the AB accusation until all of the facts come out, unlike Pats fans did towards Tyreek.


Not sure if you guys saw this, but it looks like Clark’s interception at Jacksonville was also largely worth crediting to KPass.



Notorious motor mouth and relentless speaker Bill Belichick


Need more of this content. Nice!


??? that center was hilarious!

Good stuff. But the fire sale is Miami clearly isn’t over!

Anyone see Cam in press conference? Looked like my friends Eastern European grandmother.