As everybody knows I have access to all sorts of feeds to watch the game, but prefer to watch on a large screen vs a standard 22” PC monitor. Since some idiots decided that people in Oklahoma would much rather watch Cleveland play since they have Baker Mayfield instead of the Chiefs with the current MVPat I had to come up with another plan. Since I had been pondering a way to watch on a larger than 22” screen since around noon or so on Saturday I didn’t end up having a very restful sleep, and managed to wake myself up around five am on Sunday morning. Some of the restlessness could have been due to mixing Bert’s and cheap beer. Never go cheap with beer when also drinking Bert’s. I would recommend something high end like Keystone or Pabst, not that cheap stuff put out by Bell’s Brewery or Founders. Another pro tip. Never put raisins in your beer, or your Bert’s. I just ran out of olives and decided after drinking four straight glasses of Bert’s that raisins would be an adequate substitute. They aren’t.
Anyway, after waking up at five am I poured myself a glass of Bert’s, and a shot of coffee, went outside to smoke a crayon and ponder how I would be able to watch the game on a larger format screen. The choices are rather limited here in Muskogee. Maybe I need to talk with the owners of Max’s Garage and convince them to show the Chiefs game when it is an out of market game. The other choice is BWW’s, and they don’t serve the fried cheeseburger. Double bacon and cheese, beer battered and fried. The first time I tried this I wasn’t to sure of that decision. One bite later and I am convinced it is the best cheeseburger you will ever have. Needless to say, I went with BWW’s since I knew they would have the game.
It turns out that the BWW’s choice was a bad one. During the first half the Jaguar defense decided to test the waters by acting like a bunch of punk kids that know the police standing around watching them break every law possible will not intervene since the police all know that the children’s parents have dirt on the local judge and any charges brought against these punks will just be thrown out. The referees allowed this behavior to continue until things got so embarrassing they actually had to do something. This something resulted in the Jaguars player Jack being ejected from the game. This lead to the comedy situation of Jack pretending like he was going to go after the referee while his friends held him back, and culminated in the ever popular two year old flop. While the two year old flop is entertaining when you are not the parent dealing with it, it is just a sad look when a full grown man does it. Don’t even try and get me started with that cheap shot from Ramsey against Hill.
The worst part about BWW’s is that they do not serve Bert’s. They are not after all a high end establishment like Max’s Garage. I didn’t even realize that Max’s sold Sapporo. Now I really need to go in and talk to them. I may even be able to take the entire family there, unlike BWW’s. BWW’s tends to let people of questionable character in on game days. I have run into Broncos, Raiders, Patriots, and even Cowboys fans in that establishment. A place that will allow those types of people in without even a question is not a place you want to take a family too.
As the first half came to a close the TV went blank and then came the ever feared “due to black out rules” warning coming up on the screen. This is when I knew that there was something really screwy about this game. It was like all major providers were trying to force you to watch the Cleveland game. My answer to this situation? I left. I knew all the various feeds, and decided to take my phone and go home. That may have also been a bad decision as we ran into the “let’s go to a more competitive game” followed by the realization that that may have been the wrong decision. Their answer to the wrong decision was to change their story to “our trailer was attacked by ISIS, the Taliban, and Del Taco so we are having technical difficulties and will get back to the Chiefs game as soon as possible” message. Of course we all know Del Taco was not involved in this in any manner. If Del Taco had anything to do with this the stadium would also have been reduced to a small pile of rubble.
So for the final seven minutes all I could get were Twitter comments of the game. According to some of the feeds I read the referees allowed players to bring baseball bats and chains onto the field for those final seven minutes. At one point according to one feed a knife was pulled on a Chiefs player. The Chiefs of course would overcome this aggression due to the fact that I had this week spiked their Gatorade with Bert’s, and just threw cups of Bert’s infused Gatorade into the Jaguars players eyes. I am told that this resulted in only three Jaguar players going blind. Of course the NFL is going to have to look into this since five different NFL approved helmets melted due to Bert’s.
Of course all that really matters is the final score of 7043 to 26 in favor of the Chiefs. I added 7003 points due to the Chiefs maintaining their composure in the face of such blatant disregard for the rules, and realizing that Bert’s could do some damage to the opposing team in a pinch.
Until next time, the Granddude abides.