Tuesday Taeks

 57 replies

We see you trollin’…we Taekin’…

Well… what a week for Taeks. People on the Internet are in mid-season form already and it’s just the second week of the preseason. We definitely have a wide gambit of things to cover today so I won’t take to much of your time. However, I will give a bit of advice for all that want to hear it… Eat your Wheaties.
If you’re new here, make sure to read the disclaimer below.
Let’s Go!

Full Disclaimer here: These are meant to be in satire. I repeat these are meant to be taken lightly and in jest. Please do not take offense if you or someone you know gets named in the ‘taeks’, remember all publicity is good publicity. In fact, you’re welcome.

Additionally do not seek out the authors of these ‘taeks’ to ridicule, maim or otherwise harass them. It could be illegal and Seth isn’t licensed to practice law on the interwebz. Worse yet, you might make the following week’s ‘Taeks’. We’ll make you famous.

Hawt Taeks

It’s been nearly a week. This tweet got 1 like.

Even bob Sutton doesn’t believe this

Ohh Facebook…. how I love/loath thee

OUCH!

Where do I start?…

Special Edition Taek

Its not often we get to see such a idiotic and flat out demeaning and disrespectful comment directed towards the Face of the NFL’s significant other. The fact that this person claims to be a Chiefs fan is just flabbergasting. If this were survivor…

Around the Web

Only works for Wheaties

Same.

Well done puppers

And that’ll do it for me and this weeks Taeks. Join me back next week, same time, same place, with a heart healthy bowl of Wheaties.

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Mitko

I still can’t believe I got called out by Dieter’s Mom

Nasrani
Nasrani

I think we need to fix this. Instead of “heart-healthy bowl of Wheaties,” it needs to be “a heart-healthy bowl of MVPat Flakes” (or whatever they’re called).

CHIEFSandSABRES

I’ll just say this about the event surrounding Mahomes GF. I feel spouses/significant others should be off limits. I’m glad MVPat is happy at home and not out causing trouble or partying. Dude is loyal to his chick, and she is loyal to him. That “fan” might have been saying all that for attention, but I am happy our QB is happy, and focused on winning, not chasing tail.
Also, if you read this dude who typed it, why did you block everyone when they started calling out YOUR girl?

Knightwolfbr

The guy acts like an

Spoiler
ass
on Twitter to everyone and then gets offended when people respond in kind. *eye roll*

Mahomesisgreat
Mahomesisgreat

That guy is the definition of a douche!

Armychiefj
Armychiefj

On the opposite end, some asshat texted into 610 a couple weeks ago to correct Fescoe when he said Pat was “perfect”. This guy said Pat isn’t perfect because he is living with a woman out of wedlock. Personally, I think its quite admirable that he has been with the same girl/woman since high school and they still seem to love each other. That doesn’t always work out, but seems to be in this case. I’d lose a little respect for him if he did what this guy suggests and left her just to party and chase other women.

CHIEFSandSABRES

I’m hardcore religious and could care less he’s living with her outta wedlock, if I were rich I wouldn’t get married either. I’m pretty poor and marriage in America is just a racket for money.

Team Player
Team Player

A piece of paper and a ring does not a marriage make.

legal_kush
legal_kush

So, this righteous dude thinks it woulda been holy if they just got married at like fifteen, right?

starry1

Unless they act like Miko Grimes, I agree with you.

QuackTastic
QuackTastic

i.imgflip.com/37p6ha.gif

starry1

What did someone say to Brittany?

That Tony burn was fire. (sorry Tony). I agree with Tony that Mecole is a bit overhyped, but I don’t agree that he won’t be a WR2 or 3.

kcfreak725
kcfreak725

I feel like part of it is just Tony’s dislike of Brett Veach that he’s taking out on Mecole

starry1

i really dislike Veach, but I’m willing to wait and see how the picks pan out.

Dave

I dont *love* Veach and I dont *hate* Veach. He seems to be about average for a GM. Hes no Ballard, but at least he isnt a Gettleman either …

starry1

Okay, but average is hard to swallow after the genius of Dorsey’s picks. At least Veach doesn’t suck as bad as Pioli.

Dave

Eh, I’m still not on the “Dorsey was a genius” bandwagon. He had some big whiffs, too. He also cost us money on some contracts. I think the one thing both he AND Veach have shown substantial skill with is evaluating lower round and UDFA prospects

starry1

He didn’t have any big whiffs that i can recall, other than Kevare Russell. I do think he picked too many “projects” in the draft, but no real whiffs. And I don’t recall any trades/free agents that sucked…unlike Reach.

My only really complaint about Dorse was he wasn’t good at contracts and was bad at releasing guys in a bad way, but as far as finding talent, he’s one of the best ever.

Dave

The only FA Veach has brought here this far that I’ve been ‘meh’ on is Clark due to the draft cost and contract.

KPass is going into year 3 without substantial playing time, so if you’re giving that a pass then you’re setting yourself up to do the same with Speaks …

Outside of Peters I cant name another quality CB Dorsey drafted — and before you say Nelson, I said “quality.” I’m not saying Veach HAS, just saying that it hasn’t been a draft strength of the team.

To me Dorsey has done good and bad. Same as Veach. Veach began his tenure without a 1st rounder, so I was giving him some slack. Not happy about losing another 1 AND 2 for Clark, but I’ll give him one more year to see what — if there is one — his larger plan is for the team

starry1

I think KPass might finally be coming along and we’ll end up slotting him as one of Dorsey’s projects and not a whiff, so again, no real whiffs for Dorsey yet.

I HATE Clark’s price tag and if he doesn’t have substantially better stats that Justin Houston at the end of this season, i will be calling for Veach’s head.

Leaf
Leaf

He was brought over for more than his stats. Whether or not that is worth the extra capital is debatable. But Houston had never been a true leader. Our defense needed a kick in the ass and an over 30 good but not great OLB switching to a new scheme wasn’t going to bring that.

QuackTastic
QuackTastic

You don’t think the Hitchens acquisition has been ‘meh’ ?

Dave

So far? Absolutely. But I’m willing to see almost anyone play in any defense different than Sutton’s 😊

Leaf
Leaf

While not huge wiffs, fish gets his share of ridicule and Ford hasnt proven he’s more than a one year wonder. St. John was good in the first few rounds, but sucked at depth and defense.

legal_kush
legal_kush

Fisher was the definition of CYA safe.
He’s been reliable. That’s about the list of his positive column.

Spider
Spider

That whole draft was the definition of ‘meh’. I’m not just talking Dorsey’s picks either.

TNCHIEFS
TNCHIEFS

Fish went to the Pro Bowl last year. He’s quietly become a good LT. Ford on the other hand is currently injured in 49r land

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

Of we ignore PM as a combo of both Veach and Dorsey what are we lookin at for remaining Dorsey guys on this team?

Offense
Our best 3 o lineman(best RT in the league) our best wr (one of the 5 best in the league by most any standard) and at least one other that will make the 53, best TE (also best I the league), Sherman (2nd best FB inthe league).

Defense
Jones (one of the best in the league), kpassagnon (not much yet but will make the team), Sorenson (decent 3rd safety)

Am I missing anyone? We have our best roster since at least 93ish and great odds to go to the SB. Though Dorsey has a lot to do with it it’s clear that Veach is doing something right if we have a better chance to go to a SB than we did with Dorsey. And we have around 12 or 13 Dorsey guys left.

By the way I do give Dorsey a lot of credit for Mahomes, but most of the credit is in the fact that he played the board better than Veach seems to have a clue how to at this point. I think a lot of that is because Dorsey has more connections and a better sense of rumors and reality in the draft. The credit I give to veach is the push to get Mahomes.

legal_kush
legal_kush

Poor Sherman. There’s like three FB’s in the league and he’s #2.

Leaf
Leaf

This here. But in not convinced Ballard is the genius everyone thinks he is. He had a great draft last year, cool. I think it’s a bit early to crown after one good draft.

Dave

Dont let him fool you, Tony is a massive troll.

When Mecole does well and people bring the above up, watch for him to play semantics such as:

“I said he isnt a wr2 on any other team in the league because he isnt ON any other team in the league.”

Leaf
Leaf

I know what tony is. Back in the day, his Alexite trolls were next level.

Armychiefj
Armychiefj

That take seems to be missing. Basically the guy said PM2 has the greatest life ever, he just needs to ditch his GF so he can go sleep around with a bunch of “10s.” The tweet is from march, but she just saw it yesterday so it took off on chiefs twitter

starry1

That’s vile, they’ve been together since high school. She may just be average in the face but she’s got a rocking body.

Dave

I personally find her face quite attractive.

Shes also exceptionally supportive, which is a VERY attractive trait

starry1

I think she’s cute, she’s just average cute and not some typical plastic WAG, ya know. I think she’s a very sweet girl and keeps Pat grounded and that’s all that really matters. I hope she’s secure enough in herself that she doesn’t run out and get implants and lip injections and all that crazy shit just to keep up with the other WAGs on that “level”.

I finally read the tweet for myself and I really want to go tell that mofo off, but I’ll follow the taek rules and leave him alone…unless someone wants to give me a one-time free pass?

Dave

Trust me, Chiefs Twitter has collectively shit in his Cheerios, haha

Just for reference, what’s a WAG?

starry1

Wives and Girlfriends, that’s the British term for footballers’ girls that has seemed to catch on over here as well.

d-block
d-block

You’re British? Interesting.

starry1

I’m Kansan…same thing.

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

Hell I didnt know I was almost British

Leaf
Leaf

Lol, i’d be supportive of a $300 mil payday too.

Spider
Spider

comment image

Spider
Spider

In all seriousness, I get the allure of knocking the bottom out of everything in sight for some clownshoe on tweeter but Pat’s got a better thing going and let’s be honest, it’d be like shooting fish in a barrel for any guy in his situation and where’s the sport in that? Brittney’s been there since HS, is hot, seems to make him happy, seems to be good for him, and we don’t need a giant herd of Espinals roaming the 200-level.

Mahomesisgreat
Mahomesisgreat

Mecole will be just fine.

legal_kush
legal_kush

Tony is saying he’d be a WR1 on any _other_ team.
😜

NM_ChiefsFan
NM_ChiefsFan

Does Len Dawson always sign his name backwards?

Fire_FG_the_moron
Fire_FG_the_moron

It only looks backwards. But that was some dumbassery in that taek. Whats worse is the guy that said it has been trolling the guy that offended the queen yesterday.

Tony Sommer

We should know by now that Judge Reid is an attention whore.

legal_kush
legal_kush

Mirrors… damn them.

Fire_FG_the_moron
Fire_FG_the_moron

Double Taeks day!!!!! Excellent!!!