Friday O/T: Stories From China Edition

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Once again I’ve been tasked with posting the open thread, but this time I’m actually prepared. I realized posting the open thread is sort of like commenting in one. You basically just talk about whatever random stuff comes to mind.

So how about some stories from China?

I’ve been to China twice. Once for a couple weeks when I was in college, and once last summer for 3 months. Both times were certainly a learning experience. Unsurprisingly China is a lot different from the US.

The first time I went I stayed with my friend, and my favorite show to watch was a dating show that was sort of like The Bachelor in reverse. There are about 20 women up on a stage, and a man tries to win their affection through a series of videos and Q&A’s. At any point in the process the girl can hit a button to reject him. By the end the guy gets to choose from whoever’s left.

The best image I could find.

In watching this show with my Chinese friend I discovered a secret that Chinese people have been hiding from us Western folks for decades. Once I reveal this secret I will have to change my name to Carlos Martinez and move to a remote cabin outside Bozeman, Montana for my own protection.

Chinese people think American guys have ugly girlfriends, especially when they date Chinese girls.

It turns out that Chinese guys value clear, pale skin a lot. So American guys will date girls with freckles and whatnot because we don’t care, and Chinese guys think they’re ugly.

Speaking of dating, it’s so much easier as a white guy in China. I guess because we’re exotic there. It got to the point where I only dated girls who looked like super models because I could.

The first girl I met there and I went to a mall, and I noticed that the escalators were inconsistent on which one went up and which went down. Sometime the one on the right was up, and sometimes the one on the left. I asked her why this was and she said “because China”.

This phrase was very helpful for me for the next 3 months, as there was a new mysterious occurrence on a regular basis. For example, I went to KFC with a roommate of mine, and on the way we passed a restaurant that had two boxes full of live frogs that had gotten loose.

Another example is the shopping in person. Shopping online in China is great, but in person is a frustrating experience. Near the end of my trip I wanted to buy a scale to weigh my luggage so that I could make sure it made weight (I had bought a lot of books while I was there to help me practice when I got back home). It was impossible. I spent literally an entire weekend going to various stores and not a single one had scales for sale.

Early on I needed to buy deodorant. I tried to pack somewhat likely and figured I could buy some when I got there, but like the scale I simply couldn’t find deodorant anywhere. It turns out most Chinese people have a gene that makes it so they don’t smell so bad when they sweat, so they don’t need deodorant.

One last little story. If you’ve ever gone on a long plane ride you know how terrible the experience can be, and how planes have little entertainment systems in the back of the seats to help alleviate that. On my flight to China I sat next to this old Chinese guy who not only never touched it, he didn’t do anything except stare forward for the entire the flight, only interrupting his nothingness when they brought around that terrible airline food. That guy was a beast.

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MidKan Chiefs LiferTNCHIEFSWaywerdSonTyroneDave B. Recent comment authors
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TNCHIEFS
TNCHIEFS

For Tyreek…

Tyrone
Tyrone

Yep, Odell is full of shit
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Tyrone
Tyrone

Well he admits it here

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

80 is a long effing way for a qb and it’s a fair bit more impressive for a wr.

Dave B.
Dave B.

So Richie Incognito got a two game suspension and Antonio Brown is pissed that he doesn’t have a 99 rating in Madden.

Hard Knocks should be interesting this year.

ForeverRanger91
ForeverRanger91

Remember when we were the team that had those issues? That team is going to be a dumpster fire from a personality standpoint and Chucky isn’t a coach that can ring in that many.

QuackTastic
QuackTastic

I mean, as annoying as hes been lately, he should have a 99 rating. He’s still the best WR imo

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

Hopkins is the best imo and I’d take Tyreek over Brown. They are the 3 best in the league with Julio and OBJ right there close.

WaywerdSon
WaywerdSon

Incognito got charges at his father’s funeral? Seriously? That dude has serious issues AND might be the worlds biggest douchebag. Geezus

stjoechief
stjoechief

The lurid version was that he wanted to cut off his father’s head for research purposes. The slightly less weird version is that he wanted his father’s brain sent for testing for CTE. Either way, he apparently was punching caskets and threatening to shoot people. Several guns were found in the trunk of his car.

He has been held for involuntary psychiatric treatment in the past and supposedly has major outbursts when off his meds. So obviously playing NFL football and getting knocked on the noggin frequently is just what he needs. 🙄

slackator
slackator

yeah but he didnt get illegally recorded using out of context naughty language so they really cant punish him to harshly

BleedingRedAndGold

Or somebody’s messin’ with ya. But who can say?

ForeverRanger91
ForeverRanger91

Decided to pick up the best wrestling game ever to start my PS1 collection.

HawaiiFiveOh
HawaiiFiveOh

Which one?

ForeverRanger91
ForeverRanger91

Smackdown 2: Know Your Role

HawaiiFiveOh
HawaiiFiveOh

Awwww shit fellas! It’s time for a week of vacation! Cabin on the ocean, nice quiet evenings by the fire pit, maybe put a line in and see what I catch. And nothing to do but breathe for 5 days. THAT is my VOTW.

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

Sounds great have a great time

stjoechief
stjoechief

End of a busy week. Finally relaxing with a wee dram. The audio on this isn’t terrific, but still just damn.

pompano
pompano

Wish they would have recorded off of the soundboard too.

stjoechief
stjoechief

Yeah, for that concert all that’s available is audience recording.

gibby-25
gibby-25

What’s up peeps. Was sure hoping we would’ve had the Tyreek mess put to bed the 5:00PM. grrrr.

Mattl
Mattl

Hopefully this posts ok. I thought it was pretty funny.

Mattl
Mattl

Ok, evidently it DIDN’T post.

pompano
pompano

still funny though.

Mattl
Mattl

LOL, thanks! Was trying to post a Tweet. I’ll just post the link.

pompano
pompano

Are you social media shaming?
You bastard 🙂

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

Lol great

BleedingRedAndGold

Bubba Starling’s first at-bat went well for him, and he followed up by coming home on an error to put KC up over DET 2-1

QuackTastic
QuackTastic

Thought we were getting a tyreek decision today darnit!

Severely Concussed
Severely Concussed

I don’t know if this was posted anywhere else today and I never posted anything from Twitter, but apparently Mahomes was caught on video throwing a ball out of Arrowhead.

Sudden
Sudden

People saying it’s about 87 yards are missing the big role gravity plays on a throw of that height.

I feel like there’s a science Saturday post that can be made to calculate the actual normalized distance….

BleedingRedAndGold

I could maybe, maybe fake my way through it, but the minimal amount of math I had in my last one bothered some folks. This would take a lot more of it.

ForeverRanger91
ForeverRanger91

Yeah it is way more impressive than people think.

ForeverRanger91
ForeverRanger91

Only other QB currently that could do that is Allen. I want to see a throw off between Mahomes, Allen, and Favre.

Dave B.
Dave B.

And OBJ…. he claims he threw a 100-yard pass with a running start.

Tyrone
Tyrone

It’s apparently an 80 yard practice field, and it looks like it may have fallen 5 or 10 yards shy of the endzone.

MidKan Chiefs Lifer
MidKan Chiefs Lifer

👀💪

wildcats137
wildcats137

Anyone hoping to score anything specific on the upcoming 2 day prime day? I’m hoping to score a good deal on a gpu to use for deep learning myself. Need to compete in some kaggle competitions to help build up my portfolio.

Sudden
Sudden

On my flight to China I sat next to this old Chinese guy who not only never touched it, he didn’t do anything except stare forward for the entire the flight, only interrupting his nothingness when they brought around that terrible airline food. That guy was a beast.

He was connecting to Tibet afterwards. Congrats on meeting someone who achieved Zen

Nasrani
Nasrani

Went to a car show downtown today. I’m not a car guy, which is odd coming from a family of gearheads; I guess it skips a generation. It was still cool, even though (other than aesthetically) I can’t tell the difference between a Bugatti and a Ferrari (which is probably blasphemy, I know, but I digress).

Anyway, said car show reminded me of this song (yes, I know it’s more a song about bikers/biking, but still, it’s better than whatever they were playing there):

Those who are fans of Iron Maiden – the guy doing lead guitar/vocals on this song is none other than Adrian Smith. After Urchin folded in 1980, he joined Iron Maiden.

Speaking of long flights:

zulu trader
zulu trader

thanks Tony, very interesting

zulu trader
zulu trader

MasterChief
MasterChief

Never been to China but spent 8 months in Okinawa. Asia is definitely a different place. Even something as simple as a vending machine can be downright confusing… which reminds me, don’t ever try beer milk.

Leaf
Leaf

I was on Okinawa for 4 years. It’s a cultural shock for sure. But I miss the random vending machines on back streets.

MasterChief
MasterChief

4 years?!? Wow. Was that spent at Kadena? I spent my time there at Camp Shields, right next to Kadena.

Leaf
Leaf

Yeah I was at Kadena. Didn’t really want to leave, but the air force had different plans for me.

slackator
slackator

Tony talks about China and I get Asian Date .com Meet Chinese Women ad? Coincidence?

Probably so, just thought it was kind of funny

zulu trader
zulu trader

Martial Arts Film GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Chinese girls

1wombat
1wombat

They sure do a nice victory dance though.

Leaf
Leaf

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Sudden
Sudden

I once got a “how does this kpop idol stay fit” ad on here