With the 24th Overall Pick, the Raiders Select…

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It’s a little-known fact that Mark Davis has a particular show he likes to watch while he gets his weekly bowl cut. So little-known you may think I just made it up. But you’re an idiot. You might be right about that. Word around whatever city doesn’t currently want the Raiders is that the man is quite a fan of “Last Change U”. His favorite player? Isaiah Wright, RB. For obvious reasons.

Mark is such a fan of Isaiah Wright that when he hired Mike Mayock, he had it written in poor Mike’s contract that he would draft the former Netflix star with this very pick. And I can prove it*. A freak athlete with off the field issues who was cleared of murder charges? Match made in heaven Oakland Vegas nowhere.

After the last several years it appears the front office of the butt black hole has finally realized that signing the oldest players available isn’t getting it done. The group of backs on the roster leaves a lot to be desired, even for this staff.

So without further ado… with the 24th pick in the 2019 NFL draft, the Oakland (?) Raiders select…

BREAKING NEWS – Jon Gruden has just informed Mark Davis that Isaiah Wright is not eligible for the NFL draft.


With the 24th pick in the 2019 NFL draft, the Raiders reluctantly select Josh Jacobs, RB Alabama.

*I can’t prove it

Oakland Raiders GM jmgunn0124 selects: RB Josh Jacobs, Alabama

  1. Arizona Cardinals – DT Quinnen Williams, Alabama
  2. San Francisco 49ers – DT Ed Oliver, Houston
  3. New York Jets – EDGE Nick Bosa, Ohio St
  4. Oakland Raiders – EDGE Josh Allen, Kentucky
  5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – CB Greedy Williams, LSU
  6. New York Giants – EDGE Montez Sweat, Mississippi St
  7. Jacksonville Jaguars –  OT Jawaan Taylor, Florida
  8. Detroit Lions – LB Devin White, LSU
  9. Buffalo Bills – OT Jonah Williams, Alabama
  10. Denver Broncos – LB Devin Bush, Michigan
  11. Cincinnati Bengals – QB Kyler Murray, Oklahoma
  12. Green Bay Packers – TE Noah Fant, Iowa
  13. Miami Dolphins –  QB Drew Lock, Missouri
  14. Atlanta Falcons – WR D.K. Metcalf, Ole Miss
  15. Washington Redskins – QB Dwayne Haskins, Ohio St
  16. Carolina Panthers – OT Andre Dillard, Washington St
  17. New York Giants – DT Dexter Lawrence, Clemson
  18. Minnesota Vikings – OT Cody Ford, Oklahoma
  19. Tennessee Titans – TE TJ Hockenson, Iowa
  20. Pittsburgh Steelers – WR Marquise Brown, Oklahoma
  21. Seattle Seahawks – EDGE Clelin Ferrell, Clemson
  22. Baltimore Ravens – EDGE Brian Burns, Florida St
  23. Houston Texans – CB DeAndre Baker, Georgia
  24. Oakland Raiders – RB Josh Jacobs, Alabama
  25. Philadelphia Eagles –
  26. Indianapolis Colts – 
  27. Oakland Raiders – 
  28. San Angeles Chargers –
  29. Kansas City Chiefs – 
  30. Green Bay Packers –
  31. Los Angeles Rams – 
  32. New England Patriots –
Do you approve of this pick?
(26 votes)
(2 votes)
Total Votes: 28

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Ugh… when are we getting to 29, already?


A lot of Eagles fans were wanting Jacobs at the next pick. Maybe not so much since they signed Howard. Be nice for the Chiefs if Jacobs goes prior to 29.

zulu trader
zulu trader

Faiders again in a few days. Looking forward to it. Is a punter in their future?


Probably shoulda drafted a CB, or an OT. So, I approve, of their drafting the wrong guy.


Great write up! And while this pick does meet a team need, any RB in the first round is pretty questionable. I doubt Raider fans would be happy with it, and that makes me happy.


Thanks! I definitely wouldn’t want the Chiefs to make that pick if we had the need, but I can certainly see them doing it lol


Good piece, and pretty dang funny, so have an upvote. That said, is that supposed to be “Last Chance U”, or is it a fashion-driven one where the eliminated contestant has had their last change on the stage? 😉


Nah, they just all need to change. They ended up there for a reason 😏


Good work. As always: fuck the raiders.


This gets my vote for tied for funniest.


Though I always want the Raiders to draft nothing but punters, so anything else that looks like it might address a real need is going to be voted down just for that. Funny write up though.


Well that’s fair. Can’t fault you there. I was definitely going to make it an awful pick until I looked an no one else had made intentionally bad picks… peer pressure man

zulu trader
zulu trader

Good job. Perfect faider pick

Team Player
Team Player

Hilarious (dammit. Now I have to rewrite the 27th)!!


Haha thanks! Got the idea from my irrational love for Dakota Allen because of that show


I said “no” because they should have just drafted Wright. LOL


I’m sure they would if they could lol. Dude had a ton of potential


Voted yes because it is a position of need for that evil, horrible, franchise that I hate. That being said, they better spend the rest of the draft stocking up on Defense in an attempt to slow down MVPat15.