With the 23rd Overall Pick, the Texans Select…

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I’m not sure why I chose to play GM for the Houston Texans. I actually despise both the team and their fans. I find J.J. Watt pretentious. I think Deshaun Watson is overrated. Their fans are obnoxious. Even the name of the team itself is ridiculously unoriginal. The original Texans moved to Kansas City and became the Chiefs. Bob McNair had to ask permission from Chiefs’ owner Lamar Hunt to use the name. They were going to call themselves the Apollos, Bobcats, Stallions or the Wildcatters.. but they decided on the Texans instead.

I can’t hear mention of the Houston Texans without remembering all of the heartache we’ve caused them in recent years. There was the 30-0 beat down in their stadium in the 2015 AFC Wildcard game. There was the time Eric Fisher shoved Watt’s face in the ground like a dog who was being punished for pissing on the floor. There was the time Jamaal Charles took the wind out of J.J.’s sails… and the time he took the legs out from under Brian Cushing (ending his season). In 2017, many Texans’ fans were hoping they would draft Patrick Mahomes as their new franchise QB. The Chiefs jumped in front of them to draft him, leaving them to settle for Deshaun Watson. Most recently we outbid them for Tyran Mathieu… which leads us to today.


After all of the suffering we’ve put the Texans’ franchise through over the years it’s only fair that we pay them back, just this once, by mock drafting a player at a position of need…

With the 23rd pick in the first round of the 2019 NFL Draft the Houston Texans select…. Deandre Baker – CB – University of Georgia  

The departures of Tyron Mathieu and Kareem Jackson have left a hole in Houston’s secondary bigger than the one in Bill O’Brien’s chin. With an aging Jonathan Joseph at LCB, Denver Broncos’ outcast Bradley Roby in the slot and Aaron Colvin at RCB (who might be injured more often than J.J. Watt), the Texans’ cornerback group is in serious need of help. Baker would be a huge upgrade at the position and would immediately compete for a starting job. While a little small he’s shown he can play press coverage well and he has good speed and fluidity that allows him to stick with most receivers. He’s also a willing tackler and has been known to catch an interception or five. If there’s one knock on Baker it’s that he tends to get a little grabby during routes. 

Adding Baker should improve the Texans’ secondary but I doubt it will make much difference in the win column. I have a feeling the Colts are going to run away with that division next year. 

Houston Texans GM dave9600 selects: CB DeAndrea Baker, Georgia

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  1. Arizona Cardinals – DT Quinnen Williams, Alabama
  2. San Francisco 49ers – DT Ed Oliver, Houston
  3. New York Jets – EDGE Nick Bosa, Ohio St
  4. Oakland Raiders – EDGE Josh Allen, Kentucky
  5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – CB Greedy Williams, LSU
  6. New York Giants – EDGE Montez Sweat, Mississippi St
  7. Jacksonville Jaguars –  OT Jawaan Taylor, Florida
  8. Detroit Lions – LB Devin White, LSU
  9. Buffalo Bills – OT Jonah Williams, Alabama
  10. Denver Broncos – LB Devin Bush, Michigan
  11. Cincinnati Bengals – QB Kyler Murray, Oklahoma
  12. Green Bay Packers – TE Noah Fant, Iowa
  13. Miami Dolphins –  QB Drew Lock, Missouri
  14. Atlanta Falcons – WR D.K. Metcalf, Ole Miss
  15. Washington Redskins – QB Dwayne Haskins, Ohio St
  16. Carolina Panthers – OT Andre Dillard, Washington St
  17. New York Giants – DT Dexter Lawrence, Clemson
  18. Minnesota Vikings – OT Cody Ford, Oklahoma
  19. Tennessee Titans – TE TJ Hockenson, Iowa
  20. Pittsburgh Steelers – WR Marquise Brown, Oklahoma
  21. Seattle Seahawks – EDGE Clelin Ferrell, Clemson
  22. Baltimore Ravens – EDGE Brian Burns, Florida St
  23. Houston Texans – CB DeAndre Baker, Georgia
  24. Oakland Raiders – 
  25. Philadelphia Eagles –
  26. Indianapolis Colts – 
  27. Oakland Raiders – 
  28. San Angeles Chargers –
  29. Kansas City Chiefs – 
  30. Green Bay Packers –
  31. Los Angeles Rams – 
  32. New England Patriots –
Do you approve of this pick?
(23 votes)
(3 votes)
Total Votes: 26

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I just keep watching that gif and remembering how good DJ was.


I sure do miss DJ specials.


Rec’d For :
” a hole in Houston’s secondary bigger than the one in Bill O’Brien’s chin. ” … I LOL’d … seriously , Dude … Get Some Spackle Or Bondo or Something to patch that Crater where that new Black Hole was found … : )


I found Watt’s antics mildly amusing, right up to the point where Dr. LDT (would still love to just call him DDT, but that never caught on) received his doctorate, and Watt decided to jump on the hype train by getting himself an “honorary” doctorate. That wasn’t just clueless in the extreme, it was flat-out disrespectful. Dr. Larry /earned/ his sheepskin, and put in a lot of hard work in doing so, on top of becoming one of the top-tier RGs in the NFL. What’d Watt do, make a /third/ phone call to get his piece of paper degree?

Screw Watt.


If Houston can’t keep Watson upright they’re going nowhere, so it makes perfect sense that they would take a corner. If the Chiefs go corner at #29 would Baker, Murphy, or Oruwariye be the one to hope for?


You are obviously trying to sabotage the team. Baker is a terrible pick, given the needs, and yes, there are several, at OL. Center Garrett Bradbury is the right selection here.

Tony Sommer

All aboard the Watson is overrated train. He’s not as overrated as he was last offseason, but people still treat him as an elite QB when he’s more Alex Smith.


Yeah, but DeAndre Hopkins is criminally underrated as well. I’m not entirely certain that Tyler Thigpen wouldn’t look like an average NFL QB if he had Hopkins to throw at.

Tony Sommer

He is a 1st team all pro though, so he’s got some recognition. He’s a good match for Watson, who likes to throw it up for grabs.


You’re right that he is recognized by his peers. I guess I just feel like he isn’t mentioned in the water cooler conversations about future HOF WRs as much as he should be given his talent level and expected future in the league.

I’d take Hopkins over any WR not named Hill. That’s not to say that Julio Jones/AB/Michael Thomas aren’t good players. I just think Hopkins does more with less than just about any receiver out there.


It would be interesting to see him play with an elite QB. I definitely get the impression he would be the undisputed top WR in the league if he had a top 5 QB. On the flip side, Watson’s OL is terrible. There is a bit of Alex Smith effect there, but it is objectively terrible.


Tyler Thigpen DOES look like an average NFL QB…


difference between Watson & Alex Smith – Watson throws a lot of jumpballs and Watson also has an absolute elite weapon in DeAndre Hopkins.


like a dog who was being punished for pissing on the floor.

This is the greatest thing I’ve read in a long time. He punished Watt!