Who’s ready to mock our way to the draft? Its that time of year and we’re ready to get started rolling out the mock draft done by you, AG. Below is the draft order for the 1st round and picking team selections is done on a “1st come, 1st serve” basis. For now, with some teams having multiple picks, please specify which pick you would like to complete. Once everyone who wants to participate has a team, you can choose a second pick. When you are on the clock you will be notified via the email account you signed up with and will have 24 hours to reply with your selection and write-up. For your write-up, explain why the player you selected fits the team. Feel free to have fun with your write-up, make it humorous. There will be voting involved, and the best write-up wins a prize…that I’ll announce as soon as I figure it out. Think something along the lines of:
Or maybe something else. We’ll try to make it fun, regardless.
If you sign up to draft for a team, please make sure you are committed to following through, and if for some reason you are unable to please let me know ASAP so we can re-assign your team to someone else. Thanks!
- Arizona Cardinals – dablueguy
- San Francisco 49ers – DaveFriedman
- New York Jets – wustl_chiefs_fan
- Oakland Raiders – SCKSChiefs
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers – ChiefZed
- New York Giants – Mitko
- Jacksonville Jaguars – 01lowbird
- Detroit Lions – InHarmsWay19
- Buffalo Bills – KC Dude
- Denver Broncos – stjoechief
- Cincinnati Bengals – 3rdnlong
- Green Bay Packers – sydenham
- Miami Dolphins – Northwest Chief
- Atlanta Falcons – mbkemp
- Washington Redskins – tsv0728
- Carolina Panthers – backbone313
- New York Giants – ChiefDog
- Minnesota Vikings – CHIEFSandSABRES
- Tennessee Titans – Thepriesttheycalledhim
- Pittsburgh Steelers – Andy Reid the Walrus King
- Seattle Seahawks – zulutrader
- Baltimore Ravens – Tyrone
- Houston Texans – dave9600
- Oakland Raiders – jmgunn0124
- Philadelphia Eagles – 4thQtrMagic
- Indianapolis Colts – Darth Caedus
- Oakland Raiders – KC_SunDevil
- San Angeles Chargers – SDNativeinTX
- Kansas City Chiefs – Tony
- Green Bay Packers – Bob_the_Skull
- Los Angeles Rams – starry1
- New England Patriots – @KennyWitTheKoke
Example of a Badass Writeup
With the 22nd pick in the 2016 Another Place mock draft, The Houston Watts GM ta2tony21 selects…
/inserts cliffhanger here
Some player who won’t help them beat the Chiefs. Like. Ever. Obviously the Watts have a lengthy list of needs if they ever want to aspire to beat the Chiefs (who, Gods being kind, get to play these chumps a third time in two years) starting with quarterback, running back, wide receiver, tight end, offensive tackle, guard, center, safety, cornerback, inside linebacker, outside linebacker, nose tackle, and most importantly of all: defensive end.
You see, in the year since JJ Watt was last spotted cutting firewood in the woods (borderline cannibalism if you ask me) in a football uniform with no gloves (things only rednecks notice), he has developed a severe case of ichthyophobia and diarrhea. But mostly ichthyophobia. Which, if you didn’t know, is the fear of fish. Or rather, Fish, if that’s what you call him. You know, that or, uh, His Fishness, or uh, Fisher, or El Fisherino if you’re not into that whole brevity thing. What in God’s holy name am I blathering about, you might ask? The bums lost, sir!
…JJ Watt is scared of Eric Fisher. I mean, I bet he fakes an injury the week the Watts play the Chiefs. Oh, he’ll be active come game day, but he’s totes sitting this next one out.
So where were we? Oh yeah, selecting a draft pick for these southbound pachyderms with oversized belt-buckles that rival their over-estimation of BBQ so conservative it matches their political tendencies.
Well, considering all of the team needs for the Houston Watts it really only comes down to two options. The first and easiest option being a DE to fill in for JJ’s 15 sacks per game (as projected by [Fansite deleted by the editor]) when he decides to ask for a mulligan against KC this upcoming season; someone is going to have to play every position on defense while Baby-J is getting his diapers changed on the sidelines. The other option here at 22, in fact my dark horse pick of the draft, is just one frickin’ special teams guy who can tackle Knile Davis before allowing him to run 106 yards for the playoff game-deciding score.
Unfortunately, since no such human being exists, at least not one known to man not named Chuck Norris, the selection here has to be Boy J’s replacement …
Ole Miss DT Robert Nkemdiche
Shit, what’s the worst that could happen?