Sign Up For AG’s Mock Draft!

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Who’s ready to mock our way to the draft? Its that time of year and we’re ready to get started rolling out the mock draft done by you, AG. Below is the draft order for the 1st round and picking team selections is done on a “1st come, 1st serve” basis. For now, with some teams having multiple picks, please specify which pick you would like to complete. Once everyone who wants to participate has a team, you can choose a second pick. When you are on the clock you will be notified via the email account you signed up with and will have 24 hours to reply with your selection and write-up. For your write-up, explain why the player you selected fits the team. Feel free to have fun with your write-up, make it humorous. There will be voting involved, and the best write-up wins a prize…that I’ll announce as soon as I figure it out. Think something along the lines of:

Or maybe something else. We’ll try to make it fun, regardless.

If you sign up to draft for a team, please make sure you are committed to following through, and if for some reason you are unable to please let me know ASAP so we can re-assign your team to someone else. Thanks!

  1. Arizona Cardinals – dablueguy
  2. San Francisco 49ers – DaveFriedman
  3. New York Jets – wustl_chiefs_fan
  4. Oakland Raiders – SCKSChiefs
  5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – ChiefZed
  6. New York Giants – Mitko
  7. Jacksonville Jaguars – 01lowbird
  8. Detroit Lions – InHarmsWay19
  9. Buffalo Bills – KC Dude
  10. Denver Broncos – stjoechief
  11. Cincinnati Bengals – 3rdnlong
  12. Green Bay Packers – sydenham
  13. Miami Dolphins – Northwest Chief
  14. Atlanta Falcons – mbkemp
  15. Washington Redskins – tsv0728
  16. Carolina Panthers – backbone313
  17. New York Giants – ChiefDog
  18. Minnesota Vikings – CHIEFSandSABRES
  19. Tennessee Titans – Thepriesttheycalledhim
  20. Pittsburgh Steelers – Andy Reid the Walrus King
  21. Seattle Seahawks – zulutrader
  22. Baltimore Ravens – Tyrone
  23. Houston Texans – dave9600
  24. Oakland Raiders – jmgunn0124
  25. Philadelphia Eagles – 4thQtrMagic
  26. Indianapolis Colts – Darth Caedus
  27. Oakland Raiders – KC_SunDevil
  28. San Angeles Chargers – SDNativeinTX
  29. Kansas City Chiefs – Tony
  30. Green Bay Packers – Bob_the_Skull
  31. Los Angeles Rams – starry1
  32. New England Patriots – @KennyWitTheKoke

Example of a Badass Writeup

With the 22nd pick in the 2016 Another Place mock draft, The Houston Watts GM ta2tony21 selects…

/inserts cliffhanger here

Some player who won’t help them beat the Chiefs. Like. Ever. Obviously the Watts have a lengthy list of needs if they ever want to aspire to beat the Chiefs (who, Gods being kind, get to play these chumps a third time in two years) starting with quarterback, running back, wide receiver, tight end, offensive tackle, guard, center, safety, cornerback, inside linebacker, outside linebacker, nose tackle, and most importantly of all: defensive end.

You see, in the year since JJ Watt was last spotted cutting firewood in the woods (borderline cannibalism if you ask me) in a football uniform with no gloves (things only rednecks notice), he has developed a severe case of ichthyophobia and diarrhea. But mostly ichthyophobia. Which, if you didn’t know, is the fear of fish. Or rather, Fish, if that’s what you call him. You know, that or, uh, His Fishness, or uh, Fisher, or El Fisherino if you’re not into that whole brevity thing. What in God’s holy name am I blathering about, you might ask? The bums lost, sir!

…JJ Watt is scared of Eric Fisher. I mean, I bet he fakes an injury the week the Watts play the Chiefs. Oh, he’ll be active come game day, but he’s totes sitting this next one out.

So where were we? Oh yeah, selecting a draft pick for these southbound pachyderms with oversized belt-buckles that rival their over-estimation of BBQ so conservative it matches their political tendencies.

Well, considering all of the team needs for the Houston Watts it really only comes down to two options. The first and easiest option being a DE to fill in for JJ’s 15 sacks per game (as projected by [Fansite deleted by the editor]) when he decides to ask for a mulligan against KC this upcoming season; someone is going to have to play every position on defense while Baby-J is getting his diapers changed on the sidelines. The other option here at 22, in fact my dark horse pick of the draft, is just one frickin’ special teams guy who can tackle Knile Davis before allowing him to run 106 yards for the playoff game-deciding score.

Unfortunately, since no such human being exists, at least not one known to man not named Chuck Norris, the selection here has to be Boy J’s replacement …

Ole Miss DT Robert Nkemdiche

Shit, what’s the worst that could happen?

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Bob_the_Skull
Bob_the_Skull

If you still need people to draft I can make a pick. I don’t care which team.

With the 1st Overall Pick, the Cardinals Select… – Arrowhead Guys

[…] still a few spots open in our mock, click here and pick a remaining […]

Tyrone

Ok pencil me in for those dick-bag Baltimore Ravens at #22 please

3rdnlong
3rdnlong

When are we starting this again?

Team Player
Team Player

Hey, are we picking team or slots? Right now I have the vagabonds at 27. Does that mean I have the Bears after that?

backbone313
backbone313

Let me get CaM’s team at 16

01lowbird

Make sure you draft a clergyman

ChiefDog

I’ll take whomever, if y’all still need too fill a spot.

CHIEFSandSABRES
CHIEFSandSABRES

I’ll take the Minnesota Vikings.

Thepriesttheycalledhim
Thepriesttheycalledhim

I’ll ‘Volunteer’ to impersonate Jon Robinson, representing the Tennessee Titans pick at 19.

CHIEFSandSABRES
CHIEFSandSABRES

Welcome aboard!

Thepriesttheycalledhim
Thepriesttheycalledhim

Thanks!

Fire_FG_the_moron
Fire_FG_the_moron

I’ll do the Edmonton Eskimos of the Confused Football League…..just put it on auto draft.

4thQtrMagic
4thQtrMagic

I will take the part of Howie Roseman, in the city of brotherly love….

sydenham

You got me with the “or else.” I will take the Lions at 8 or the Packers at 12 if either are available please.

sydenham

Okay, saw that Dan has the Lions, cool, so I’ll take the Packers please.

Team Player
Team Player

I will take the Homeless and Destitute Scavengers (aka Raiders). Random is what I do best.

mbkemp
mbkemp

Can I play Scott Pioli

3rdnlong
3rdnlong

I will take the Bengals. It would be a repeat time for me drafting for them.

Dave B.
Dave B.

I’ll take Houston at 23. Someone has to draft Watt’s replacement.

Daniel Harms

Taking the DETROIT LIONS at 8. Thanks

tsv0728
tsv0728

Why haven’t they had Shane Ray in yet, I see he is visiting the Colts today. He won’t cost much, and has a pretty high upside if he can stay healthy. Seems like a depth guy we could find a way to use., and shouldn’t he be rewarded for tattooing the logo on himself? I’m a massive fan…still no tattoo.

Daniel Harms

They must either feel that he isn’t a fit for this defense or Spags just doesn’t like him. I don’t see the harm in bringing him in to pair with Okafor tbh

01lowbird

Hes been hurt and he cant stop the run to save his life.
I was never a fan of his in college and he got exposed in the NFL

Berserker

I would love to have him on the team, cheaply, because hometown boy and all, but…. MU fans know Markus Golden was always better.

SDNativeinTX
SDNativeinTX

Go ahead and give me the LA Carpetbaggers. It’ll be fun to speculate on how they’ll s–t the bed this time in the draft.

ChiefZed
ChiefZed

I’ll take Tampa Bay at #5.