Derek: If you read this article last week you could see Dave and I don’t agree on much when it comes to football. This week will be completely different. We’re actually going to agree on absolutely nothing. So once again we ask you to pick a side, mine (the right choice), Dave’s (the questionable choice), or your own.
Dave: *Finishes his Boulevard Wheat* Oh, were you saying something? I was enjoying something with actual substance …
LeVeon Bell and Chris Jones recently had an encounter — would you want him as a Chief?
Derek: Short answer, no. Long answer, hell no. Don’t get me wrong, with Bell in the backfield the Chiefs offense would make teams look uglier than Dave’s mugshot. Lets no forget, the problem with the Chiefs wasn’t a lack of RB. The money LeVeon will ask for will just take away from signing big name defensive players like Landon Collins. We will also be signing Tyreek Hill to a huge extension soon and Patrick Mahomes will more than likely be getting a record breaking contract the following year. I say we just take a chance on a rookie RB in the draft and let Bell keep on looking.
Dave: While Derek — and all of his exes — are accustomed to mediocrity, the rest of us would like to regain the high-level running game the Chiefs have been known for throughout our storied history. Damian Williams is not a bad running back, but he will never be confused with a Charles or a Holmes or an Okoye. I’m not advocating bending over and letting him have his way with our cap space, but if anyone can convince him to take, say, $9-10M per on a 3-year deal, it’s Chris Jones. Score 40 points a game and figure out the rest later.
Who will be the Chiefs toughest regular season opponent in 2019?
Dave: Um … duh? The Patriots. Once again the Chiefs are having to travel to Foxboro for a clash between the best quarterback in the league and some old fogey with too much finger jewelry. For the 3rd decade in a row (hyperbole) we face these Champions of Cheating on the road, and until we prove that we can take them down, we will always be to them what Derek is to me on these posts — the underdog.
Derek: The Patriots are a tough team but with the amount of free agent talent on defense and the Chiefs multiple options for freeing up cap space, I have faith. If there is one thing harder then beating a difficult team once, it’s beating them twice. The San Diego…. I mean, Loss Angeles Chargers (that’s not a typo) are returning a majority of the talent on their squad and the only thing that really kept us from losing out on our 3rd straight AFC West title was one single game.
Worst head coaching hire of the offseason?
Derek: When I heard the Jets hired coach Adam Gase it made me question their decision making more than when Dave’s wife agreed to marry him. I mean seriously, in 3 seasons as the Dolphins head coach he only managed to have a winning season one time. The only possible explanation I can think of is the Jets saw the last second prayer against the Patriots and they’re hoping he can pull off another miracle for the organizations first win against New England in 3 years.
Dave: If you can look at the hire of Kliff Kingsbury and not name at least 2 or 3 more qualified candidates, you probably aren’t trying. The former Texas Tech head coach — who did a stint somewhere else for a few hours before jumping on with the Cardinals — looks like any average gas station attendants’ older brother. Surely, his prestigious win/loss record got him the job, no? No? Oh, right, it was Patrick Mahomes. Guess who the Cardinals don’t have at quarterback …
Fight Night: Antonio Brown V.S. Ben Roethlisberger
Dave: It’s not the size of the dog in the fight … or the boat in the ocean, or whatever. I’m picking the little guy, because if I don’t, Tony’s smug self will try to make some kind of joke about it (Papa Doc’d you, sucker). First off, AB is crazy. Dude died his mustache blonde. I mean … he has to be nuts, right? That’s like the guy who takes his pants off before a fight — leave that man alone. I imagine Brown would look like Tommy Davidson’s character in Ace Ventura 2 against Roethlisberger. Lastly, Ben is old. While he may be well-versed in taking advantage of people in confined quarters, I’m taking Antonio’s speed and hands over Big Ben’s forceful nature.
Derek: If there’s one thing I learned from Rocky VI –besides the fact that Stallone may have based the mentally impaired boxer off Dave after 10 beers– it’s that you can still put up a good fight no matter how old you are. Big Ben may not have the same pep in his step as his younger days but if he could land one solid shot with that wreckin’ machine of a right arm (rocky joke) I think AB would fall quicker then when he took that shot from Vontaze Burfict. Plus if Brown is as good at fighting as he is making 500$ personalized videos, Roethlisberger has nothing to worry about.